In which I develop an affection for someone I don’t particularly like

I get invited to a party by someone I don’t like. This unnamed person (the UP) seems to be throwing a large party and I’m one of many on the guest list. I don’t want to go, but I also don’t want to be rude and just ignore the invite, so I send a text message saying that I can’t make the party.

The UP calls me and somehow persuades me to attend. I say that I can come but that I’ll have to bring my dog. Soon I appear at the UP’s apartment. The apartment is lovely and spacious. My dog immediately curls up and goes to sleep, and I’m surprised that she feels so comfortable in the space.

I’m the only person there, and the UP is friendly and generous. I’m offered a slice of cake, and when I say that I think it’s delicious, half the cake is wrapped up for me to take home. As we walk around talking, various other offers are extended, like suggestions to get together in the future or recommendations for places I might like to go.

I notice a framed photo sitting on a shelf. It’s a strange image, as it’s of a large crowd of people and the photo is quite blurry. Still, I think I can see myself and some of my friends in the photo. It looks like it was taken about 25 years ago. I express my surprise and confusion about this photo, and the UP says that it came from a family member. The UP’s father was a photographer.

I start to feel bad because I’m the only person at the party. Then another person that I don’t know appears from the other room; he had been taking a nap in the bedroom. We all stand around in the kitchen talking, and I realize that I’m having a good time.

I sure hope this is what SxSW is like

I’m getting ready to go to SxSW, so I’m packing and picking up things in my apartment. I go into the kitchen to straighten up and put the dishes away. I pick up the large cast iron frying pan and discover that the metal has dissolved and oozed all over the counter. I’m irritated with myself because that pan should have lasted a lifetime.

When I arrive at SxSW I go down to the hotel lobby to wait for some friends. I bring with me a bed pillow that I hold by the edge of the pillowcase, and I carry a pair of tan boots in my other hand. (I’m wearing shoes.) Sitting in the lobby as people start to arrive, I realize that this whole pillow-and-boots combo is going to be a bit awkward to carry around with me all day. I make some excuses to run back up to my room so I can drop them off.

My room is actually in a cabin on the edge of the event space. To get there I have to walk across a beach, which is where all the events will be held. The weather is warm and sunny, and I think “this is a great place to hold a conference.”

The cabins where I’m staying are in the woods on the edge of a fairground. The fairground is a bit seedy, like a combination of gas stations, trailers, and improperly maintained carnival rides. I stop in a gas station convenience store to pick up a few items, one of which is a pink dildo. (If you must know, it was rubbery.)

I use the dildo as a pointer during my talk, beating it against the table when I want to make a point. Very effective!

Meeting in California

I’m supposed to go to a meeting in California but I’m not wearing any pants. I stop by a mall kiosk that sells yoga gear and plan to buy any pants I can. I’m happily relieved to find a pair that’s on sale, because otherwise I would have spent quite a bit of money. Once I’ve picked out my pants I notice that they’re selling a scarf that’s on sale, so I decide to buy that too. I also grab a bottle of water.

I take my items up to the register and hand the salesclerk my wallet. She rings up a very large dollar amount and I express my surprise; I know the items I’ve selected don’t cost that much. She shows me that she’s rung up a whole list of items that appear on a receipt in my wallet. I explain to her that I’m not buying those items today, and point out the date on the receipt. It’s nearly a year old.

Once I’ve resolved that issue and have some pants on, I go to my meeting. My job is to construct a train. There are some train pieces made out of wood. I add some additional cars by taking pieces of cantaloupe and melon that are in the fruit salad provided as a snack for the meeting.

Conference

I’m at a conference (aren’t I always) and everyone I know from high school and work is giving a speech. The room is set up like a conference with chairs but the stage looks like a stage in a grade school gym, with a red curtain and a flag. The speaker is wearing a navy blue suit and a red tie.

I’m miffed that I haven’t been asked to give a speech. I get up to walk out of the room and the speaker calls down to me and asks if I’d like to speak. I act condescending and say that I’m too busy. Later, as I’m watching people talk, I wonder why I said that. I should have just admitted that I wanted to talk. But it seems like it’s too late.

I set out boxes of thank you cards on a table at the side of the conference. They have the Bond logo on them. I encourage people to take a card and write a thank-you note to someone they want to give thanks to.

Later, I am working on a project with Friedman. I want to make changes to something on a website but I can’t figure out how. He comes over and shows me the edit link. It’s too small to see.

Face Powder and Hand Weight

I’m on a train and I’m standing near the end of a train car. At the opposite end I notice several of the guys from my high school debate team. I walk down and greet them all, and I give hugs to Steve S. and Joe C.

When I get off the train I go home. I’m supposed to attend an event or a party and it’s important that I arrive on time. I’m running late and I realize I don’t have any makeup on. In a hurry, I go to the bathroom and dump powder on my face. I wind up with huge white splotches all over my face, and I try to wipe them off. This process doesn’t save me any time. I look at the clock and see that I’m 20 minutes late already, and resign myself to the fact that I won’t arrive on time.

When I get there, I’m walking around a strange event space, it’s sort of like a store and sort of like an amusement part. I am carrying a silver metal hand weight (shake weight?) I realize that one of the metal end pieces has fallen off. My immediate concern is that something from inside the weight will now fall out.

Bunk Bed Living

Everyone from Bond is living together in a dorm with bunk beds. Movers come to take us someplace else and install new bunk beds.Everyone puts all their stuff in piles on the bed.

When the mover arrives he says that we can’t just pile our stuff on the beds, everything has to be packed in suitcases or boxes. I look at the new bunk beds and realize they’re too small—you wouldn’t be able to sit up if you were in the bottom bunk. I say that we’ll have to return the new beds and find better ones.

I make an announcement to the entire group about this. I tell everyone I have two things to tell them: 1) they have to pack their stuff and 2) we need to buy new beds. While I’m talking, someone comes up and interrupts me between points one and two. I get annoyed since it’s clear I’m still talking, and I’m nervous about people’s response.

Everyone is upset but instead of complaining about packing, they complain about the fact that they moved out of their parents’ homes. Everyone agrees that living with their parents was much better than this. They all glare at me like it’s my fault. I feel responsible, like it’s because of me that they can’t go home again.

Broken iPhone

I’m at a party and my friends start making fun of me. I walk outside and Susie follows me. She’s accusing me of doing something I didn’t do. I drop my iPhone and it breaks into two pieces. It’s cheaply made plastic, and the two halves split apart with a tongue and groove to fit them back together. As we stand there talking, I try to fit the two pieces back together.

Wedding in London

I’m in a city like London because I’m going to get married. My family and many of the people I know are there to see the ceremony and wish me well.

My mother says that Jeff is the doctor who delivered me when I was born. She says we was a very good doctor and he did a fine job. When we see Jeff and try to talk to him about it, he says he doesn’t remember being a doctor and doesn’t think he ever did that.

I meet up with my faceless groom and he’s wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt. Evan asks him “you couldn’t even wear a real shirt?” We look around a store trying to find him some better pants and a button-down white shirt.

Once I’ve gotten him settled trying on clothes, I run across the street to another store to try on some makeup. I realize that in all the excitement around finding clothes for my groom that I haven’t put any makeup on.

Speech Team

I’m supposed to give a speech at a tournament. I’m on the speech team and the contest is being held in a hotel ballroom, with a lectern at the front and round tables for seating. But I can’t remember my speech.

Afterwards, Diana comes up to me and says that Michael wants to talk to me, but she really means Ryan. When I go over to say hello to him, he’s bald.

Then a group of us go out to eat at a diner. It’s an old-fashioned diner restaurant that serves burgers and shakes. The menu is printed on a sign on the wall, and they don’t have printed menus. I try to place my order with the waitress, but while I’m doing so they start changing the signs, like it’s a McDonald’s changing from breakfast to lunch. I tell her what I want from what I remember. My dining companions place their orders and make a point of saying they want to order items from the Dollar Menu. I ask them to clarify what’s on the Dollar Menu, because I didn’t see that.

Email on a t-shirt

I’m really proud of my new t-shirt that has a picture on it. (In my dream I couldn’t see the picture, but for the purposes of this discussion just assume it was a picture of some wolves howling at the moon.) I email a copy of the picture to Friedman so he can appreciate how awesome my new t-shirt is.

He decides he likes the picture as well and wants it put on a t-shirt of his own. He sends it off to have a t-shirt printed. When he gets the shirt back they have not simply printed the picture on it, but rather have printed the entire email on the shirt.

A representative from the t-shirt company shows up to give him a demo of his new shirt. While he’s wearing it she points out some of its key features, including the email text and then the picture he asked to be printed on it, which unfortunately was cut off at the bottom of the shirt.

(In response to hearing this dream, Friedman says “your dream was basically the whole premise of Cakewrecks.”)

Gymnastics Rings

I’m at some kind of event (like a conference) where I see a lot of people I went to high school with. It seems to be a holiday event because there are some Christmas decorations.

A station has been set up with gymnastics rings, and a bunch of people are standing around waiting for their turn to try. I watch people, but it looks hard. The girl in front of me in line can’t do them at all, and she gets very upset and decides to leave. I feel embarrassed for her, but also I’m worried for myself, because I know I’m up next and I don’t think I can do them either. I know I have tried doing this exercise before but wasn’t successful.

I look around through some of the Christmas decorations and find some light blue cardboard hooks. I remember that I can use these to grab onto the rings, and this will make it easier.

Octomom Birthday Party

Andrea is having a birthday party for her eight children.  It’s less like a party and more like a detention center for people displaced due to a natural disaster. There are Port-a-Potties stationed outside the house and everything is dirty and disorganized. It’s like a war zone.

The party goes late into the night and I decide it’s time to leave. I look for my bag but I’m having trouble finding it. They have luggage carts where everyone’s bags are stored, and I have to dig around in a jumble of other people’s stuff to find mine.

I find the hostess to say goodbye and ask which of the many children has a birthday today. She says that all the kids share the same birthday, and I realize she is the octomom. I realize how sad it would be to grow up one of eight and not even have a birthday of your own.

Late for a Meeting

I have a meeting at 10am, and I’m a bit anxious about making it there on time. I dont want to be late.

When I wake up, though, I learn that I have to go to a funeral for Evan’s mother. It is a bit unusual, though, because she isn’t actually dead. She decided that she wanted to have her funeral while she was still alive, so that she could enjoy the party. People whisper and gossip about this, because they think it’s inappropriate to attend your own funeral.

The funeral is lavish and there’s lots of different food. But I’m constantly checking my watch because I know I need to get to my meeting. I call the person I’m supposed to be meeting with at 10:30 and explain I’m at a funeral. Then I wonder why I didn’t just do that in the first place.

Grandma’s Possessions

My mother tells me we are going to have brunch with my family — her brothers and sisters — on Saturday morning. She tells me that brunch is at 8 so I should wake up at 7 or even 6:30. I tell her that’s not brunch, it’s breakfast, and it’s too early. She gets annoyed with me and insists that I go.

The following morning we get in the car and drive, but instead of getting breakfast, we stop at a store on the side of the road. Inside, all of my grandmother’s things have been arranged like it’s a store, and my family members are going through them all, looking for things they want. My mother tells me that I should look through her belongings and select some things that I want.

There are many beautiful things in there and I want to spend some time looking through them all carefully. But my mother is impatient because she’s already been through the items and she doesn’t want to stand around. I feel anxious and pressured to choose things quickly. I’m trying to find some items that I can remember my grandmother by.

Twitter, Finally

Twitter finally develops a business model. They install a Twitter machine in the restrooms of restaurants and bars. By inserting 26 cents, you can send one tweet.

If I have to go over this one more time, I’ll kill myself

I am working in a recycling factory. There are hundreds or thousands of containers for recycled materials, filled with empty bottles or cardboard or glass. To move around the facility and get to the containers, I stand on a series of conveyor belts. The belts go around and around, taking me through well-worn paths of cast-off items.

I have a knife — like a small sword, really — that I plan to use to kill myself. I’m hiding it under my jacket as I travel along the conveyor belt. I run into someone else on the belt who is pregnant. She tells me that she should get to use the sword first, and I give it to her, and watch her cut herself open.

Identity/Incognito

Scarlett Johannsen comes to me and says that she wants to do an experiment in identity. She wants to try and “go incognito” in a crowd of people.

I help her get dressed and fix her hair so she looks ordinary. The goal is to make her look unrecognizable to people who might meet her on the street.

She goes and stands around in an open courtyard area. After a while people come and talk to her and make casual conversation. One guy talks to her for a while and then goes on his way.

I chase after him and inquire if he would be willing to answer a couple of questions, like it’s a survey. He agrees and I ask him if he recognized that the woman he was talking to was a movie star. He said he did not know that. Then I ask if he recognized Scarlett Johannsen and he was surprised, because he had no idea.

Time Travel Technology

Friedman and I working on a project involving time travel. We have developed technology that enables us to send people back in time. However, once they’re in the past, they have no way to communicate with us. To get them back to the current day we have to go and find them in the past, which is difficult.

As a result, we are concerned about rogue agents going back into the past, getting lost or feeling isolated, and then taking actions that would damage the timelne. We are trying to develop a way for people in the past to communicate with us in the present. We’re exploring options like having them carve messages into stones in caves.

I test out the system by going short distances back in time and sending messages to the future. When I’m in the past I run into past-Friedman who has no idea what’s going on and keeps asking what I’m doing. I tell him I’m from the future but that isn’t a satisfactory explanation to him.

Party in Brooklyn

I am having a party (maybe a birthday party) and I’m telling people where to go. I tell Brooke and David that the party is going to be in Brooklyn. Brooke is reluctant to go because she doesn’t know how to get there, so I explain to her how to take the subway. When we get to Brooklyn it’s crowded. The streets are jammed with people, so it’s almost impossible to walk.

I am taking care of an elderly Chinese woman. At the party, someone tells me have to get home as quickly as possible because there is something wrong with her. I need to take a handkerchief or a Kleenex and very gently dab around her eyes. Someone shows me how to do this.

Later, I meet a man and we walk through the streets of a dark city to a convenience store. We pick out some items from the store and then sit on the curb outside.

Navigating a city park

I walk over to the window across the hallway from my apartment. I want to go out onto the roof. The window turns into a door so I can to outside. When I’m out there, it isn’t a flat roof that overlooks the tops of shorter buildings, the way I’d expect. Instead, it’s a grassy hill that slopes down into an outdoor park. When I look to the other apartments, I see that instead of windows, they all have sliding glass doors, like we’re in an apartment complex in the suburbs.

I walk down the hill past picnic tables. It’s warm and sunny out. I walk for a ways through a park, then decide it’s time to head back home.

I see that I can cut through a path across a college campus to get home. As I’m walking, I come across a staircase that will take me up to a skyway. I start to climb the stairs but discover that they’re folded up as a security measure, and I slide back down. As I’m standing there looking at them (and marveling that they close up) the steps fold down so I can climb them. I take this as an invitation and begin to ascend.

As soon as I make it to the top of the stairs, an alarm sounds and the stairs close up again. A gate comes down from the ceiling and I am trapped inside the skyway.

Bumped off a flight going to visit Joe

My dad drives me to the airport where I plan to take a flight to D.C. to visit Joe. When I’m checking in I realize that I don’t have any luggage. I’m holding a disorganized sheaf of papers, and I shove them into my empty backpack. (Where is my laptop?)

When I get to the ticket counter to check in, the gate attendant tells me that the flight is oversold. She checks my reservation and tells me that because I used frequent flyer miles to purchase the ticket, I will be bumped off the flight in favor of paying customers. At this point I notice that my ticket is to Atlanta, and I really want to go to D.C. I ask her what sort of compensation they will provide if I am bumped, and if they will arrange for me to get to D.C. instead. I think that this could work out well for me, as I obviously made a mistake in booking my travel.

I go down a flight of stairs at the airport to go back outside and meet my dad. Walking down the stairs, I pass by Maya Angelou and her entourage. I realize that they are on the flight to Atlanta.

I get into the back seat of my dad’s minivan because my mother is in the front seat. They both drive me home so I can pick up my suitcase.

Cleaning a public park

I’m Hillary Clinton and I’m supposed to clean up a public park that has been left strewn with garbage by Sarah Palin. I go around the park with soldiers to help clean. One of them throws a large metal oil drum at me. When I’m finished cleaning the park, it’s actually a bedroom that’s decorated in a typical middle-American traditional style.

My mother calls me to ask how the process is going. She only asks me “yes or no” questions like “Have you finished picking up the garbage yet?” After a few questions I start to be frustrated that she wants to talk to me, but never asks me anything that I can actually respond to. My replies get shorter and snippier, and finally I tell her I don’t want to talk on the phone anymore because I have work to do.

The New Bond Website

I am in a large lecture hall with a number of younger students. The room has long black writing tables and an area at the front for the teacher to lecture. I am sitting at one of the classroom tables, drawing sketches for the new Bond website. I have a clear idea of how I want the site to work, but I am having trouble getting it down on paper. It seems like every drawing I do has something wrong with it.

Josh is up at the front of the room, discussing ideas for the site with the rest of the students. At a certain point I become alarmed because people are talking about ideas that I don’t agree with and aren’t what I’m envisioning for the site. I decide to go up to the front and share what I’ve been working on. When I review my sketches I try to find the one that is closest to what I’m imagining, but they’re all not quite right.

At the front of the room, Josh and I are seated behind a black panel with windows cut into it. From the perspective of the students, it looks like the teacher is talking to them directly, but behind the scrim we can talk privately, consult our notes, and even have snacks. Josh has a nearly full bottle of vodka and some sandwiches back there, and I help myself.

The students are getting quite agitated about our plans for the website. I can’t quite tell if they’re in junior high, college, or even if they’re young employees of Bond. They are shouting and arguing with both me and Josh. He’s pretty calm but I get increasingly frustrated. I yell back at them that their ideas are too boring an ordinary. I tell them that if they don’t understand why our vision is right for Bond, then maybe the problem is that they are not a good fit.

This makes them very upset and they decide to protest. The entire third row stands up and lights cigarettes. While they smoke, I call down to the main office to ask for help from security. The secretary in the office sounds bored and tells me they can’t really help solve this problem.

Friedman’s gifts

Friedman likes a girl with short brown hair. He decides to buy her some gifts to show how much he likes her.

He buys her nine different presents. Instead of wrapping each one up and watching her open them, he makes a video of the gifts and posts it on YouTube. When I ask him why he didn’t just give her the presents, he says that isn’t necessary anymore, and this new way is better.

Lost in a Hotel

I am traveling with a very large group of people, including some of my extended family. The hotel we’re staying in has labyrinthine corridors and I’m lost.

The rooms are not numbered in sequence, and each room has two numbers. The first is a regular 3-digit number, but the second is a 6-digit number, like 62-2324. I know what room I’m looking for, but all the rooms have a very similar combination of numbers, so it’s difficult to determine at a glance which room is the correct one.

The hotel has posters and display cases for medical objects and paraphernalia. Near my hotel room there is a poster that shows a man from three different angles: front, side, and a three-quarter view. The differentiating thing about this man (and I assume the reason he’s been captured on a poster) is that on first glance he appears to have a faux-hawk, but upon closer inspection one realizes that he has a vagina on his head.

As I navigate through the corridors I try to find this poster again, both because I know it is near my hotel room, and also because I want to point it out to my traveling companions.

Cassette Tape

I try to purchase a cassette tape onto which I plan to record some songs for my co-workers. At first, I select a high-quality tape, which comes in a blue package. Then I consider buying a lesser quality, cheaper tape in a red package. I show the tape to one of my colleagues for his opinion.

My new project

A large group of people from Razorfish decide to secede and spin off a new company, and Bond decides to merge with them. The new office is small and very cramped. It seems that it was previously some kind of scientific lab where plants were studied, as there’s a lot of soil and the lighting makes it feel like a laboratory. The desks are very small and close together, like study carrels in a library.

I can’t find my desk and I spend a long time wandering through all the rooms looking for it. Eventually I find a very dirty room, way in the back, that no one else seems to be using, and I decide to take a desk there. I find Nate and ask him where all my boxes of stuff are, but he’s harried and overwhelmed and can’t help me.

I’m concerned about what we’re going to name the new company. I don’t want all the former Razorfish executives to take over and not give the Bond people a say in the new brand.

I am assigned to work on the JCPenney project. Our work seems to involve digging a large trench and finding artifacts in the dirt. Most of the items have been wrapped in newspaper, and the date on the paper is 1982. My mother is there to help me dig, and I find many pieces from my childhood, like items that used to sit on bookshelves in the basement, or knicknacks from the living room.

Sarah Palin is a Marxist

I decide to make a website to educate the people of Alaska that taxing oil companies and redistributing the wealth to the citizens is a Marxist economic policy. I try to register the doman “SarahPalinisaMarxist.com” but it has already been claimed by the Alaska government. I make three Wikipedia-style pages for the site. The first is a page about Karl Marx, the second discusses some of the key principles of Marxist Socialsim, and the third explains how Sarah Palin’s policies are similar to Marx. The highlight of the site is an animated GIF that morphs Marx’s face into Palin’s.

Shopping for Aprons

I’m in an industrial type building, kind of like a warehouse and kind of like a school. The rooms all have old doors on them, like in a classroom or a library.

I’m talking to Kristina about how I first became an IA. I feel a sense of urgency, like I need her to understand how and when I started working, but I’m also embarrassed, as if I think it’s unseemly to call too much attention to myself.

We have stacks of books that we have to take back to the library. I ask Susie, Jake, and Randy for help. They are annoyed at the inconvenience. They make fun of Kristina’s enthusiasm for what she’s doing.

Then I’m in a grocery store, it’s like a Dean and Deluca, with prepared foods and kitchen supplies for sale, but very large. I head to the back of the store because I want to buy an apron. I pick out a red apron that has racist iconongraphy, like cartoon representations of black people, but they’re so tiny as to be invisible to the naked eye. I also pick out a blue apron. The rack that holds the aprons is long, like the entire width of the store, and there must be hundreds of aprons to choose from.

When I try to remove them from the rack and take them to the register, an alarm sounds. The rack has an electionic sensor with a screen, and it shows me that I’ve done something wrong and security is on the way. I wait around for the security officers to come, but I’m bored and not worried because I know I didn’t do anything wrong.

My mother comes to meet up with me and we browse around while we wait. Finally the security guards arrive and they confirm that I can take the aprons to the register.

The new Bond blog

We are all working on a new blog for Bond. We don’t seem to have mastered the use of templates for the blog, so everything is one big long stream of text and we’re formatting each post individually. This is frustrating because everything is inconsistent.

I’m going through and formatting all the post titles. Josh T sits next to me and tells me that I should hit cmd-B to make the text bold, and I’m insulted that he thought he needed to tell me that. Then Mira has some new ideas for how it should be designed, and we have to reformat it all again.

Haunted House Ghost Story

I’m in an old house, and I’m apprehensive, like the place is haunted. As I walk further into the house, it’s like I’m going back in time. Each successive room or level is like a new time period or century. When I get back to colonial times, I’m deep in the basement and the floors are all dirt.

Outside, Anne has prepared a picnic with food she says that her father made. It’s all really delicious: roasted chicken, greens, chocolate cake. We’re all sticking together because we’re afraid. She points at the trees and says she can see a creature that’s alive and moving towards us, like a ghost. The rest of us all turn to look at the trees, but no one can see it and we say we don’t believe her. Still, everyone is on edge.

We take a group picture, and Sputnik puts her head up so she can be in the photo too. I walk over and sit next to her.

People Die

My aunt tells me that my father has been killed in a car accident. I am shocked and devastated, but I also have the vague sense that I expected something like this would happen. The last time I saw my father, I said goodbye to him, and I felt like I let him know how much I loved him.

I am dating a man and his mother tells me he has been killed in an accident. I am heartbroken. He appears later and I am shocked that he is still alive. I tell him that I was led to believe he was dead, and he replies that sounds like something his mother would do. I tell him that’s sick.

Sleep on It: How Snoozing Makes You Smarter

During slumber, our brain engages in data analysis, from strengthening memories to solving problems

Sleep on It: How Snoozing Makes You Smarter: Scientific American

Engagement ring

A man working behind the counter at a convenience store asks me to marry him. He gives me a giant engagement ring with an enormous stone. Later, when I look down at my hand, I realize that the stone is missing. It turns out the stone wasn’t really attached to the ring, it was just resting on the setting. I look around and find the diamond and put it back into the ring.

The man’s mother finds out that he’s given me the ring, and she gets angry at him.

Sorry Everybody

Today’s Horoscope:

Aries (3/21-4/19)

Sharing your dreams with other people might seem like a good way to figure out the puzzling images you saw, but you have to watch your audience carefully. Are they really interested in what you have to say? It’s better to let these odd visions just stew around in your head than to bore friends with the symbolism of your inner mind. This is not a good time to talk too much about yourself — what is important to you is not always important to the people you’re talking to.

Back to College

I’m taking college classes, but the classes all take place in a lavish, gilded, hotel ballroom and event space. The classes I’m taking include:

  • A class with Lee O. that takes place outside. I walk across the lawn with him, and we’re joined by Chad and Andy P.
  • A lingerie class. We only study pieces made of silk.
  • A course in rugs which I take with my mother. We study pieces of fabrics in different colors to learn more about patterns and weaves.
  • A Weight Watchers class which is at the wrong time.

Plastics make it possible

I go over to visit Luke and his son. I have some work to do and he is babysitting.

I go and meet with a potential client. This client is something like a high-powered PR firm, and all the women who work there are older and somewhat icy and forbidding. They don’t have offices, but instead all the women sit at a long front desk, like a reception area, and greet people there.

The woman I talk to has a 3-D printer at her desk for prototyping. We discuss a project and she prints out a blob of plastic for us to review. I walk down the line of desks and pick up business cards from everyone.

I go back to my house on Prescott Drive and go into the basement. I look up K.V.s blog and realize that I had written him a note on his blog asking if he wanted to get together, and he had replied on the blog so I hadn’t seen it. He had also commented about Tamara’s blog. I write back to him that if he’s interested in plastic flies (like toy rubber houseflies) then I know where to get some.

Then Luke comes down the stairs and I quit working to talk to him.

Jai and his new relationships

I go to visit Jai at his new apartment. It’s a Thursday evening. He has a new boyfriend and they’re all over each other. He tells me that this is the most important relationship in his life. I’m put out by the fact that he’s ignoring me and I try to make him understand that he’s being rude to me.

I go back and visit him on Sunday. This time he has a different boyfriend. He claims this boyfriend is really the one for him and he will be with him forever. I tell him point blank that there is no way this can be true, since he just broke up with someone else. He ignores me and I can tell he doesn’t want to listen to me.

They adopt a baby girl from Korea. I am shocked and disturbed that they would expect to care for a baby when they are obviously not that stable. Jai tells me that having a baby will confer legitimacy on his relationship. They ignore the baby once she arrives and go out to eat at restaurants.

Great Dane

I’m working with Codename, which is located in a big warehouse structure. I get up on a stage and announce to everyone that we’re going to start doing user testing on a weekly basis. I tell everyone to give names of friends and family to James, and he will be responsible for finding four people for us to talk to every week.

I’m walking around the warehouse and a couple of policemen show up with a giant Great Dane. The dog comes over and bites my head, basically engulfing my whole head in its slobbery mouth. It drools. The cops tell me to stay calm so they can get the dog to stop biting me.

Disjointed Themes

I’m in a hotel and my father is old and sick. I keep trying to call the front desk for help.

I go into the basement and there is a huge laundry room with dozens of rows of washers and dryers. I start doing my laundry.

I tell a female friend that Jodie Foster is coming over for dinner and she’s excited and nervous.

I start cleaning up and pick up stacks and stacks of newspapers. While I do so I discuss with my friend that I’ve seen a number of plays recently.

I see a woman on the street who says she works for a jewelry store. I ask how much it will cost to have my pearls restrung. She says it will be $30 to $50. I give her the pearls and she puts them in her pocket. Later I think that was dumb because she will steal them.

Wireframes

Bob L. asks me to give a presentation to Disney, which is a client of the Los Angeles office. I’m unprepared to do so, but I try and wing it.

I go up to present and it takes me a long time to pull up the wireframes I need to show. A big group of people is watching me and I’m embarrassed that I don’t have anything to present.

I start presenting by saying that I worked with Disney nearly ten years ago and at the time they really didn’t understand what wireframes were. I had to educate people about how they fit into the development process.

Today, they’re using wireframes but I’m concerned that they’re not being used to focus on the right things. I show an example of a wireframe that looks like a designed page, with all sorts of images and shading in the background, except it’s in black and white. I try to explain that wireframes should really be used to help focus the discussion on the interaction model and the architecture, and should not try to replicate the desired visual design at a lower fidelity.

San Francisco

I am visiting Friedman in San Francisco. We attend a movie in a theater together. Part way through the movie the projector breaks or something goes wrong, and so they turn all the lights on in the theater and everyone has to leave.

I go and gather up a bunch of my stuff like some books and a bag. I’m standing around outside while Friedman goes and gets a refund for our tickets. While I’m waiting a bus pulls up and I get on.

The bus starts driving toward the airport and the bus driver announces that they have a new direct flight to MInneapolis. I become very anxious because I think that the bus is going to Minneapolis and I have no way to tell Friedman where I am. I ask the man in a suit sitting next to me if this is really an airplane and he says no, this is just a bus that is going to a different neighborhood. While I’m talking to him the bottom of my shoe brushes his pant leg and gets dirt on him, and he yells at me to be more careful as he brushes it off.

I’m still worried that I don’t have any way to tell Friedman where I am. I start digging through my bag trying to find a cell phone. There are two phones in there but neither of them work, and anyway I don’t know his number. Both of the phones are cheap gray plastic, like old Startacs.

Later, Evan, Josh and I decide to have a party. I walk around saying hi to everyone I know. I go downstairs to the bar, and the Indian woman who lives on my floor is working as the bartender. I ask her if she has rosé and she gives me a glass. I go back upstairs and I see that the drink machine isn’t working. It’s supposed to be making frozen margaritas but there isn’t any ice. I start dumping ice into the machine, but it’s incredibly loud and gets ice all over everything, like handfuls of crushed ice are coming out in clumps from the back of the machine. When Evan comes over I tell him that since we’re in San Francisco we should have invited Shane to the party, and he just laughs.

Family reunion at Elliott’s

I plan to take the PATH train to see Elliott’s new apartment in Long Island City. Jenny tells me that it can take 15 minutes to get down to the platform because the trains are so deep underground.

When I arrive at Elliott’s he gives me a tour of the new apartment. We start in the kitchen which opens onto a small room with two loveseats in it. The couches are old and kind of beat up, and even without a coffee table they fill the room. Now I know what Alex meant when he said the living room was in the kitchen. To get to the next room we have to crawl through a small door in the wall. Elliott says that this is a holdover from when the building was a grain mill.

The next room is large and open with very high ceilings and views out onto the city. The room is so large that there is a small wading pool in the middle of it. Two large dining tables provide an enormous amount of seating, I hang out there for a while and eventually a few other people, including Kevin, show up. Kevin doesn’t talk to anyone and just texts the whole time, and I wonder why he even bothered to come.

I return to Elliott’s apartment later and my entire family shows up too. It’s all my aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, and we take over the entire apartment. On this visit there is a door cut between the main room and the kitchen (much better) and the sofas have been taken out so the small room next to the kitchen can function as an entry foyer/mud room.

Gram is there and says she is taking care of new baby Max. The baby has dark hair and dark eyes and I can’t tell who he belongs to. I want to ask if we don’t already have another kid named Max in the family, but I am embarrassed to ask because I think I should know who his parents are.

At the end of the party everyone comes over to say goodbye to me and thank me for inviting them all. I tell Elliott he is a real saint for agreeing to have my entire family over, and I give him a hug.

Airport Story

I’m at the airport waiting to check in to fly from New York to Minneapolis. I wait in a long line to check in and get my boarding pass. Once I’m through the line I realize that I’ve forgotten something at home, so I keep my bag with me.

I drive home through streets with a thick sheet of ice on them. The car slips and slides across the lanes.

When I get home I frantically pick out some clothes to wear. I have a whole closet full of pants and sweaters in different colors, but it’s hard to pick out new combinations that match with my shoes, and I wind up wearing the same things all the time. I choose a couple of different outfits and race back to the airport.

When I arrive at the airport I check my watch; it’s about 5:45 and the flight leaves at 6:05. I dash down a long hallway, like in a hotel, and get to a junction where I need to follow the signs to my gate. The sign pointing to Gate 6 leads to a door, and when I open it I see that I have to go down a long flight of stairs. I look around to see if maybe I’ve gotten the directions wrong, but it turns out I have to drag my bag down the stairs with me. I’m super annoyed about this.

I return to the gate and ask if I can still check my bag before the flight leaves. There is another man in line ahead of me and he’s still checking in. His last name is McGrane too even though I’ve never seen him before. When I hand over my frequent flyer card to the gate agent he looks at it and says it doesn’t look any different from the card belonging to this stranger. I respond “It isn’t, except the name.”

Four Vignettes from Minnetonka

1.

I am back in high school and am walking between classes across a lawn with a bunch of other students. I see a gold chain lying on the ground and I turn around to go pick it up. Chris E. sees me pick it up and comes over to see what it is. It’s a gold pendant that has the letter “E” monogrammed on it. I suggest that it might belong to Ellen S., but when I show it to her she says it’s not hers. I tell them both that I’m going to give it to Kathy in the office to hold on to in case they find the real owner. I don’t want them to think that I am planning to steal it.

2.

I am at a party after school with a bunch of students and teachers. People are relaxing in an outdoor seating area and everyone is drinking some beer. I have a pot pipe stashed away and I take it out and start smoking pot. Everyone is obviously shocked by this and I can see people pointing and snickering. One of the teachers, Mr. L., comes over and pulls me aside to talk about it. I get really angry and start yelling something about “Richard-fucking-Nixon watching over me!”

3.

I decide to go visit Leigh R. at her home in Minnetonka so I can confront her about how mean she was to me when we were kids. She lives in the same neighborhood as she and her parents did when growing up. When I get there she’s extremely welcoming and very pleasant to talk to. We discuss how our lives are different. She has two boys who are getting close to high-school age now themselves, and she talks about how she and her husband will still be very young when they graduate, and how they will have a whole other life in their 40s and 50s. Her husband is Hawaiian and both the boys have Hawaiian names. I talk to her about my life in NYC and how many women have kids when they are 40, but I think that’s not for me. I compare the size of my kitchen with hers and it’s amazing how much smaller my appliances are. She is taking care of a neighbor’s three kids and we are all sitting together in the kitchen. The kids are very quiet and we read them a story, and I think maybe having young kids is kind of fun.

4.

I am with my mother and father in the parking lot of IHM. The church is burning down but my mother doesn’t notice. My father and I walk around the building to inspect the damage. Most of the building is still standing, but the area overlooking the parking lot is nearly gutted.

Coffee Shop + Bic Pens + Abortion

I’m living in MInneapolis and I walk to work through streets lined with little shops. I stop to buy coffee at a place I’ve never been to before. I order an iced coffee and pay for it.

As I’m leaving the cashier comes over and says that I haven’t paid enough money. I become extremely irritated with her and make a big show of getting more money out of my purse. I dump everything out of my wallet onto the counter and start counting out dimes and nickels to give to her.

When she asks me why I’m so annoyed, I get really embarrassed. I tell her in a soft voice that I’m pregnant. She can’t hear what I’m saying and she asks me to repeat myself, and so I say it again in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. People turn around and seem shocked. I’m so humiliated by this that I grab a few quarters and hand them to her, and then grab my stuff and dash out of the shop.

When I get to work I have an RFP for Bic pens to work on. My office is in a big cubicle farm and I wander among the cubicles to get to the office supply area so I can get some different Bic pens and pencils. I return to my office and make an appointment at the doctor for that afternoon so I can have an abortion.

I walk through the hallways to go visit the doctor. Along the way I run into a man who I know from the past, maybe someone I knew in high school. I’m too focused on getting to my doctor’s appointment to talk to him, even though he repeatedly tries to engage me in conversation.

When I get to the doctor’s office the receptionist tells me that my appointment time isn’t until much later in the afternoon. I get agitated and ask her if there’s any way she can fit me in earlier. I am eager to get this over with.

To kill some time before my appointment I go next door to a cafeteria. The guy who I ran into in the hallway earlier is in there having lunch, and I have to talk to him anyway. But it’s difficult for me to find anything to talk about, since I can only think about how badly I want to have an abortion and I don’t want to tell him that.

Hair ornament

I’m at a party or an event and I put my feet up on the table to relax. I take my shoes and socks off and scratch my feet. Tim sees me with my bare feet on the table and I’m embarrassed.

Tim brings me an elaborate sculpture that is black and red and gold. I think it’s a hair ornament or a belt buckle but it’s really too large to be either. I hold the sculpted metal up against myself to show that it is too large for my hair.

The subway is never the way it is in real life

I meet Josh at an office where we’re supposed to do some work. I’m planning to take the train home but he lets me share a black car with him.

The next day I go back and meet some other people in the office. There is a tall Scandinavian man working in the office and I flirt with him. He flirts back and says he thinks he might want to marry me. Turns out he is already married to an Asian woman and they have an infant. I sit with them in the cafeteria and hold the baby for her.

When I’m ready to go home I go over to the subway. The station is attached to a shopping mall and is served by a couple of different lines. I get on the N train but it is going the wrong direction, and I wind up at the end of the line. I go to look at the map and realize how far out I am. I try to plan my trip but I can’t figure out if the N/R/Q or the B/D/F will get me home faster.

The company is supposed to provide transportation but my Metrocard either isn’t working or they’re expecting me to use my personal card. I call someone in customer service and she’s rude to me and then hangs up on me. I stare at the time on my phone, shocked that she just hung up. When I call back she is angry with me in return. She says I should just use the Metrocard that I have and it won’t be a problem.

Working at a Law Firm

I take a position in a law firm because I am unemployed, possibly out of work due to a recession. My boss is crazy and it seems that we’re all slightly afraid of him. My first task is to dole out some kind of gloppy paste-like substance onto plates in a particular S-shaped pattern. The paste is hard to work with and I don’t do a very good job.

Next I’m supposed to file an affidavit about a car being stolen. It seems like Sherri has asked me to help with this or it’s her car that is missing. As I am going through the files I come across a statement from Neil implicating me in the car theft. I look around to try and staple the documents together but none of the staplers are working and I have to use a paperclip.

Tom Wolfe

I’m at Sherri’s new house. It’s a palace, except it’s incredibly gaudy. I’m supposed to be impressed by how much stuff they have. I take a tour and comment on how they have an escalator that curves. Curving escalators are really difficult to pull off.

There’s a store they’ve set up at the exit to the house where you can buy their cast-off items. I rummage through some goods along with a few other women, but we all agree the prices are too high. I am embarrassed that they want us to buy their used stuff.

I go to lunch with their family in a big library. I’m asked to go and pull a book by Tom Wolfe off the shelf. But I can’t find the book, I can only find photocopied sections of his books. I bring back a stack of these photocopies to the table, but I’m horribly embarrassed. The father condemns me for not bringing the book back.

For the love of god I am dreaming about Powerpoint

I am reviewing a slide presentation with Ed. The slides have a heading at the top and the bottom of the page, and Ed has created an animated circle that moves between the headings to call attention to them. Everyone who reviews the deck agrees that the effect would be nicer if he had used a square instead of a circle. I volunteer to reformat the slides.

I am working in a restaurant or a bar that is crowded with people. It’s hard for me to get it to work because people keep jostling me and I don’t have a mouse. I am frustrated by trying to get it to work the way I imagine it.

The presentation is about Prince, the pop star. He looks radically different in the photos, he’s not as made up and his hair is long. The document includes a lot of information about his charitable activities.

Live Action Text Adventure Game

I’m playing a live version of a multi-player text adventure game. It takes place in a large convention center or a space with a number of rooms. The goal is to find and collect certain objects and then remember what their purpose is in the game. For example, there’s a tube that lights up and I am supposed to remember to give it to someone at the proper point in the game. I’ve obviously played this game a few times because I discuss with some of the other players what the purpose of each item is.

Then the game turns sinister. I wind up trapped in the space with people who are trying to kill me. I have a family and there is another family that we’re in combat with. I try to steal some medical supplies from a pharmacy, like I need some gauze and tape.

No Apology is Forthcoming

I’m back at the University of Minnesota for the fall semester. It’s beautiful and the weather is absolutely perfect. I joke that they plan it that way, to get people hooked on Minnesota before the winter begins.

I’m having lunch in the cafeteria with an asian woman. Her boyfriend is a strapping Minnesota blonde. He proposes to her with a ring of small pale blue stones. I’m really happy for them but she’s not happy about the proposal. I take the ring and put it on my own finger. I’m wearing my wedding band and another ring that is a larger diamond. I experiment with how they should be positioned on my finger and decide that the new ring looks best on the inside, even though I should technically wear my wedding band on the inside, closest to my heart.

I find an ancient manual typewriter that prints in an elaborate cursive script. I want to use it to communicate with Jai. I think that if I can type what I want to say to him, he will listen.

Jai and I are driving in a car around campus, looking for a place to park. I ask him what is wrong and why I haven’t heard from him in so long. He gives me a number of lame excuses and I don’t really accept any of them. I finally tell him that I think what he did was wrong and I’m really hurt, and I think I deserve an apology. After a while he yells at me and says that no apology is forthcoming. I get really angry and get out of the car, slam the door, and storm off.

I have to walk around to find a way to get home. I see a sign directing me to the “Steppe” stop on the New Jersey PATH train.

A New Pope

Tod is the new pope. Apparently the papacy is now on a 4-year election cycle. Scott was the pope previously, but now they have elected Tod as the new pope.

I can’t help but think standards for the pontiff have declined.

The cards we’re dealt

I get invited to the home of a large family. They seem to have about nine children and the parents are extremely welcoming to me. It’s possible that I am lost or homeless and they have taken me in.

We all go down into the basement to play a card game. The game is something like Tarot but it uses normal playing cards. Everyone is dealt a large number of cards (it uses several decks) and then each player announces how many of each number he or she has. We all go around the circle in order, saying how many 4s or how many 7s we have. They seem to think they can make judgments about my character or personality based on these cards.

At the end of the game we all share the “face card” we’ve been dealt. Mine is “Aleister Crowley.” They all remark on how interesting this is. The father of the family offers to take me someplace.

Premature aging

I go over to Stephen’s house and he tells me about his two sons. The older son is in college but is very irresponsible. He was supposed to pick Stephen up from a coffee shop but forgot and left him waiting there for a long time. The younger boy is a senior in high school.

I cannot believe that the boys have grown up so fast. It seems like it hardly took any time at all for them to leave home. I think that raising children maybe isn’t so difficult after all. I also think I’m going crazy because there’s no way those boys can be so old.

High School Reunion Pizza

I go to my 20 year high school reunion, which is held in an event space with a dance floor and a cafeteria. I sign in at tables like you would when you register for a conference, and I get a name badge.

Most people are in the party area with the dance floor, which is dark like a club. I go to the left and enter the cafeteria, which is pretty much exactly like a high school cafeteria with long low tables with benches. People are waiting in line to order pizza.

I run into Susie and we decide to get something to eat. She orders a pizza and then I order another one. It seems like we’re going to have too much food. I see the pizza that someone else ordered and it’s exactly like school-cafeteria pizza, all orange and greasy.

I remember that Susie has another kid and I check to see if she is pregnant or not. She isn’t so I ask if she had another baby and she said she had a girl and her name is Antoinette. I feel bad that I didn’t even know she had another baby.

The Young Dean

I’m at a college and I am talking to the dean (an older man) about information architecture and tagging. I tell him the term used now is “folksonomy.” While I am talking to him he turns into a younger man who starts flirting with me. He tells me he went to Harvard in a tone that implies I should be impressed.

I am staying in a dorm that is not unlike a hotel, with a large grand lobby and security that checks your ID before you get to the elevators. I go back to my room and I fear I have lost my keys. I go to the college bookstore and start looking around for them. I am reorganizing the book bags and backpacks when a salesclerk comes over to help me. I tell her I am looking for my keys.

I get a small knife for my keychain. It is just like the Cryovac penknives my father used to have, but it’s only about an inch long. I get it because they will let me take it through airport security.

I run into the young dean at the bookstore and he takes me back to my dorm in his car. He’s not quite sure where to go and he makes a wrong turn. We drive down a residential street with tiny houses on it. They are shaped like normal houses with shutters and a roof, but they appear to be only one small room. He says he doesn’t understand why students would live in a dorm room when they could have their own home.

I tell him I keep a blog on the internet where I write down all my dreams. He seems surprised and interested so I give him the address.

Big Love

I’ve been married into a polygamist Mormon family and I’m trying to escape. The lecherous father keeps coming after me.

I pass by Chloe Sevigny in the hallway and avert my eyes like I don’t know her, and she looks offended. Later I see her again and apologize, saying that I know we’re working on a project together. I explain that I’m a nobody and she’s Chloe Sevigny, a famous actress and international fashion plate. She laughs and we become friends, and we go shopping for hideous clothes at the department store.

Taking the subway home from a party

I’m at a party with Josh. They are handing out sheets of stickers as swag, and we make fun of them because they are sort of dumb-looking and useless.

We decide to get manicures at the party. There is a whole outdoor area that is set up like a spa, with places to sit in hot tubs and have your nails done. There is also a table where some gaudy looking earrings are for sale. We learn that the earrings were made by Swedish people, and I comment that they aren’t worth what they’re charging but the labor costs are high.

We leave to take the train home. When I get to the turnstile I realize I don’t have my wallet, so I ask to borrow Josh’s Metrocard. The subway station is huge and cavernous, more like the hallways in a sports arena. I look at the signs and realize I can take the 7 train to the east side instead of taking the 1 downtown and then walking over.

The 7 is deep underground, and to take the stairs down seems like it would take forever. I notice an elevator with two rough-looking workmen in it. The door is closing and I race to catch it, but I miss it. I push on the elevator button to see if I can get it to open again, but they’re gone. In retrospect I am relieved because I would have felt unsafe riding the elevator with them. When the elevator returns I take it down to the platform level.

When the train comes I get on the same car with the workmen from the elevator. I strike up a conversation with them and rest my foot on the seat suggestively. The subway cars are ancient, like from the early 20th century.

There is a large group of people from the Middle East or East Asia on the train. One of them appears to be a king or a man of high status. A handler comes over and asks us politely if we will move because the car we’re in is reserved for the king. I get very angry and shout at her that this is a public conveyance, open to all.

When I get home my father is very angry about the fact that they house is dirty. He is mopping the floor furiously. I take the mop away from him and take over the cleaning job. He tells me I need to accept that I know better, that I know how to do better than this.

Eating at a restaurant with friends and family

Marcelo has moved to a new apartment on the outskirts of town, in a more suburban environment that is close to some water. It also seems to be near an amusement park. I don’t understand why he would want to live all the way out there. but he seems to really like it. In fact, he is buying another apartment in the same building so he can combine them.

I go to visit him out there and we go to dinner in a restaurant. There seem to be a number of restaurants on the ground floor of the building, like a hotel. My mother and grandmother join us for dinner.

My mother and grandmother point out that another guest of the restaurant is my cousin. He is standing in line with a few other people, including a woman that seems to be his girlfriend. I go over to introduce myself and we give hugs hello. We have a friendly and animated conversation and agree that we should meet again soon. I give him a hug goodbye that goes on a bit too long, and then a kiss on the cheek which seems somehow inappropriate because he’s my cousin. I give a hug goodbye to his girlfriend and she seems nonplussed.

I return to the table so we can order. I look at the menu and choose a salad that is quite inexpensive, like $4, and I wonder if it will be enough to eat. My mother suggests that we share an order of beef rolls. These seem to be a specialty of the restaurant and they have all different kinds. They have one that is like a beef and cabbage roll, and another that is Moroccan style with raisins. I want to order the “pizza style” roll, which is basically a piece of beef that has been dressed with toppings and cheese like a pizza and then rolled up. I am pretty sure my mother won’t want to order this, but I ask her anyway. While she is reviewing the choices the lights in the restaurant go out so she can’t see the menu.

My Mother’s New House

I am visiting my mother and she lives in a new house. The house is fabulous, opulent. There are many cases and display areas for expensive art and pottery, and my mother shows me around and points out all the decor. It is lovely and very appropriate, not over-the-top and tasteless.

I am planning to catch a flight to Los Angeles and I say that I will pick up some jewelry for my mother while I’m there. She describes what’s she’s looking for; she wants gold rings with semi-precious gems like moonstones in them. I decide to take a shower before I leave, and the shower is in the middle of the room, with a round curtain enclosing it.

As I’m about to begin showering, a number of groups of people start coming in and out of the room, and I feel uncomfortable about using the shower in the middle of it all. It seems that people are coming from overseas for a competition that maybe has something to do with all the art my mother owns.

A group of young women arrive and they seem like the “mean girls” to me. They are making nasty and insulting comments about some of the other contestants, particularly about other young women who are not as cool as they are. Then an older south asian man arrives and they are particularly cruel to him.

St. Paul

I am driving in a car with Bob. I tell him I want to go to a record store in St. Paul, but I can’t remember the name of it. I’m wracking my brain trying to think of the name, it’s on the tip of my tongue, but it always eludes me. I’m frustrated and a little bit embarrassed that I can’t remember it. I feel uncool. We got to McDonald’s for lunch, which is kind of gross.

Then I’m in a bookstore in St. Paul with my mother and Harry. I have a feeling like this is the place I was trying to remember earlier.

A little boy

I’m walking through a fancy three-story apartment. It’s almost more like a museum or a private club than a home. It’s not fussy, the decor is very modern and sleek. At first, the apartment seems impossibly large to me, but after I walk through it a few times I start to see how all the rooms fit together, like I see things from a different perspective. For example, I might see one room when walking in one direction, but then when I come back another way I realize it’s right next to a different room.

I do a load of laundry, but I only put one or two undergarments in the machine. When I come back later, they have been removed from the washer and put into the dryer. I think my father moved them.

A young boy about 5 or 6 is walking through the apartment with his father. He is very well-dressed and wearing expensive sneakers. I talk briefly to the father and then realize it’s time for me to go. I notice the boy has disappeared and I keep an eye out for him as I’m leaving.

As I reach the exit, I notice that the boy is in the bathroom, and he motions for me to come and help him. I’m a little hesitant, but he makes it seem urgent. The boy has pooped in his pants and needs me to help him clean it up. I tell him that his father will come down and deal with it, but he insists that he needs my help immediately, and that all I have to do is take the poop out. His pants are lying on the floor and I walk over to inspect them. I grab some tissues and remove the feces and flush them down the toilet.

Working at Apple

Evan and I are working in-house at Apple. Toby and Anne L. work in the same building as we do and I’m trying to network with them to get advice.

Toby is really helpful to me so I want to send him a token gift. I decide to send one of the Chinese Christmas ornaments I bought last winter. I pull the top off of the globe and wonder if I could stick a joint in there for him as well. But I decide not to and just send the package via interoffice mail.

To mail the gift I go and sit at my “real” desk; I don’t usually sit there because I’m always in meetings. While I’m there I decide to clean up some papers and generally organize things. I find a document about designing Macs that I think is terrible. I try to complain about it to HR but the bureaucrats there don’t understand what I’m talking about.

Michael Eisner (who has some connection to Apple via Disney) takes me to Disneyland to ride on the rides. But they aren’t really Disney theme park rides, they’re more like old-fashioned county fair rides.

I call Anne L and ask her for help with recruiting. We start discussing the recent rise in the stock price, and she makes it sound like she really made a lot of money. While I am on the phone with her, I can also omnisciently see her stock trades. She made about $2800, which is a nice dividend but it’s not like she’s rich.

I put on lipstick so I look nice before one of my meetings. I’m too fat and I can’t squeeze by someone in the hallway and I’m embarrassed.

We have lunch in Steve Jobs’ office. I’m very nervous about meeting him, but no one else is. Lunch is set up on a table in his office, and I am unsure about where to sit. I change places and accidentally drink someone else’s water.

Taking a college class as an adult

I have a new client that I am pitching or beginning work on. The client is with RF and it seems to be a collaboration between several offices, like maybe the Austin office is involved.

There is a class at the U of M that somehow deals with this client or covers a related subject, and so it is decided that I should take the class. The class is very large and takes place in a big lecture hall. The instructor is a middle-aged woman with dark hair and glasses.

I turn in my final paper and receive a grade of "D." I’m very upset by this, and embarrassed that my work colleagues will see that I got a bad grade. I speak to the instructor and try to explain that the work I was doing for my client was different from what she expected from the final paper. What I want is for her to let me submit one of my presentation decks as additional work and maybe that will raise my grade.

Afterwards, a party for the whole class has been planned. We walk outside to go check it out. As we walk I bump into a college girl who’s walking in a pack, and we have words about the incident. I ask her "if it would be possible to walk through here without getting rudely bumped into." She accuses me of being a stupid college kid. When I respond that I’m not in college, I’m 35, she and her friends jeer at me.

I get to the restaurant where the party is taking place. When I arrive, only a blonde-haired guy and Susie are there with me. The restaurant has set a long table for us to sit at. Susie and the guy sit down next to each other, and I want to sit in the middle between them, but instead I take my place at Susie’s left.

Another student from class arrives, an older Asian man. He’s drunk and yelling at the entrance. I go over to try and get him to leave. He grabs me and kisses me, and as we stand there he tries to force himself on me. I struggle to cry out for help but I cannot make my voice work.

A Visit to Seattle

I’m in a city that looks like London but I think it’s Seattle. The streets are all narrow and cobblestoned and dark, and the old buildings are shrouded by trees. There are lots of charming stores and coffee shops. But I still say that I don’t like the vibe and I prefer New York, even though the city is very appealing.

Sherri says she is moving her family from Seattle to San Francisco. We are browsing through shops and moving between spaces. We sit in a large group in a circle with a bunch of other people, in a space that might be a cafe but it seems more like a children’s store. My chair ricochets out of place and I slam into someone else, almost like bumper cars. I apologize profusely as I’m sure it hurt to be hit like that.

Ellen S. has a very young child and then gives birth to twins less than a year later. She must have gotten pregnant again immediately after giving birth to the first. I wonder how she and her husband are going to care for three children who are all infants.

I run out of money and I need to go to the ATM. When I go I have to take out a loan. I am left with the understanding that this is all the money that will be available to me, there isn’t any more. While I’m anxious about that, I’m also strangely relieved.

Sleep, Memory

Sleep, Memory by Allan Coukell

Scientists have known for 50 years that the brain handles short- and long-term memories in different ways.

Now researchers in Boston are contributing to a growing understanding of the role of sleep in transforming memory.

Interior decor explosion

We’re rearranging the Bond offices and everything is in cubicles. But the cubicles are sort of oversized and arranged, and so they’re not unappealing.

I’m driving in a car with a native american man as my chauffeur. All of  a sudden a truck explodes in another lane and a million shards of metal come streaming towards us, and I duck.

20 Year High School Reunion

I’m driving in a car with my mother. We are going to visit Sue W, a friend of hers from when I was growing up. I become very upset in the car and throw a tantrum.

I go to my 20th high school reunion. I greet people I know and give everyone hugs. The reunion is held outside in a grassy area with picnic tables, but there are also indoor spots where you can buy things.

I say hello to Steve L. and we walk around and talk to each other. We stop and say hello to Sherri and I give her a hug, but then keep walking. I am drinking a vodka soda. Steve and I go inside for a bit but then decide to go back out because he wants to introduce me to his wife.

I leave my drink behind and then realize it too late. When I decide I want to purchase another drink I realize I have also left my purse behind. I tell Steve that I will catch up to him and his wife later, and he walks off across the grass to meet her.

I go back in to where I left my purse and look for it. Inside I meet a handicapped couple who are misshapen and deformed. I hug them hello too, even though I don’t recognize them.

Trapped in a conservative Christian family

I am living in my house on Prescott Drive with a man. He is a conservative Christian and he is threatening. I am trapped there.I feel like I am living with a very conservative, very religious family, and they are like a cult. They will not let me escape.

He has a high-tech light-up mailbox.

Susie and Jake come to visit me. Jake rides a snowmobile. I try to get them to help me.

I tell them that this family has changed the "Art Department" to the "Department of Pictures." This seems to me to be a deeply condemning accusation and Susie should recognize how terrible they are.

I beg them for help. Susie gets me a key. But I still cannot escape. We try to crawl through some branches that are shaped in a tunnel.

Susie gives me a big wad of gum. Then she takes a go-cart and leaves.

I talk to my mother. She’s my mother in the family but she is not my real mother. She is smoking a cigarette and looking skeptical.

She sets me free.

Conformist.

I Often Dream Of Trains

I often dream of trains when I’m alone
I ride on them into another zone
I dream of them constantly
Heading for paradise
Or Basingstoke
Or Reading
I often dream of trains when I’m awake
They ride along beside a frozen lake
And there in the buffet car
I wait for eternity
Or Basingstoke
Or Reading
I often dream of trains till it gets light
The summer turns to winter overnight
The leaves fall so suddenly
The sun sets at four o’clock
Exactly what
I’m dreading
I often dream of trains when I’m with you
I wonder if you dream about them too
Maybe we’ll meet one night
Out in the corridor
I’m waiting for
You baby
Baby
Baby
Baby
Baby…

Robyn Hitchcock, I Often Dream of Trains, 1984

The Old Fashioned Way

Work for an advertising agency
On a bad client
Make mistakes
Pain in the ass
Change directions
Fight with a friend
Gives away my yogurt
Trying to help
But can’t help
Has to be done
The old-fashioned way

Clothing designer

I’m involved with a project for a client where we’re designing a line of clothing. Kevin also has part of the project and seems to be more closely involved with the client than I am. The client is a black woman.

I am asked to review samples of the clothing line on racks. The clothes are both urban/street wear and girly at the same time. I look at a pinafore styled dress, and at a pair of sandals that are pink and green and seem to be made out of rubber.

I really like some of the clothing and I ask my client if I can buy some of it it. She says I have to call in the order.
We go over to a phone bank that is made up of old rotary dial phones. They are all black phones, some are from the 40s like the phone that was in the sewing room when I was a child, and some are newer but still black rotary phones.

I’m nervous after I place the order that the clothes will be very expensive. They do wind up to be more than $200.

At the client location there is a rally for the Reverend Al Sharpton to be president. My client attacks him and tries to strangle him with a telephone cord.

Riding a bicycle

I am supposed to ride a bicycle from a lunch spot to my mother’s apartment behind the Walker Art Center. There is a bike path that goes through Worth Park and then onto city streets. My mother gives me a map and tells me I’ll be fine.

I am nervous about biking through the city and especially about riding in traffic. But after a while I get the hang of it and am able to get through the traffic. It’s a beautiful fall day and it is exhilarating to move so quickly down the streets on my own power.

I meet Vincent for lunch at a little cafe. I encourage him to eat something but he seems uneasy, like he needs to get out of there. He says he has to get back to his kids.

Leela

There’s a new girl named Leela. She’s very beautiful and the boys are really into her.

She throws a party at a bar. She sends an old-fashioned paper invitation in the mail.

She has blonde hair, fair skin, and wears bright red lipstick. She sits on a barstool in the middle of the floor.

Attention needs to resume on the freezing point of water in beverages.

I give her Google searches on the subject.

We’re supposed to move, pick up and out of the bar.

Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham moves to Los Angeles with her entourage. In the lunchroom, she is shunned and made fun of  by the other women. They won’t let her sit at their table and they talk about her behind her back. I think that she must have behaved terribly when in London and that she is probably just getting payback for that.

False credit card charges

I’m out to dinner with Jai and another man and woman. The meal is friendly but I have a feeling like something is going on behind my back. It seems like Jai is cheating on me or has a relationship with these other people that I don’t know about. I feel uneasy because I don’t know what’s going on.

I leave the restaurant and walk through a series of hallways until I get to a large room that seems to be part of a research center. I find myself on top of a mountain made of office supplies, like file folders and paper products. I try to get down the mountain but I wind up on a ledge made of folders and I can’t get off. I lose my shoes along the way. I have to ask a man working there for help getting out of my predicament, and he just comes over and plucks me off. My handbag is left behind.

It turns out that I have been a victim of identity theft and credit cards have been opened in my name. Jai has opened an American Express account and has put several hundred thousand dollars of charges on it. He’s done this with his new boyfriend. I’m furious, absolutely filled with rage that he would do this to me. I scream at him but he doesn’t seem to care.

Someone at the research institution has also opened a credit card in my name and has put some charges on it. I cancel the cards and get Amex to reverse the charges, which apparently causes some problems for the researchers. They come and accuse me of messing up their plans, which seems ironic and backwards to me.

Steve Jobs speech

I’m riding in the Google jet with the founders. Someone is trying to blow the jet up. I get yelled at for using an ad blocker.

Liz is donating some used sweaters, and I try some of them on.

I go to see Steve Jobs speak at a restaurant and bar. Everyone is excited to hear him and solicitous when he arrives. But the man speaking obviously isn’t Steve Jobs, he looks like a blow-dried marketing executive and he isn’t wearing a black turtleneck and blue jeans.

I’m looking at racks of clothing and I try on a denim skirt. The skirt is in a large size and it’s all ripped and frayed around the bottom, and it has some decorations on the front. It’s really not my style. But I tell the woman I’m with that I plan to buy it and she says it’s cute.

Hotel Stationery

I’m taking the subway with Alex and Kim to a a family reunion to see my father’s side of the family. I have a bicycle and start to ride it once we get off the train, and I ride it all the way, even inside the buildings.

The family reunion is taking place in a conference center and I walk down a number of hallways to find it. My uncle Fred says he saw my mother downtown recently and she had a booger on her shirt. Fred and Eleanor seem to believe that it came from my father, as he was prodigious in this department.

I go to the hotel (on the bicycle) and sit down to write a letter. I want to write a letter to Hopkins High School asking for some help with an environmental issue in Russia. I hope that they will read the letter and remember me. I choose a piece of hotel stationery and start to write, but I don’t get very far before realizing that I should type the letter instead of handwriting it. I go to take another sheet of stationery and I realize that all the pages are different. Some are at least 50 years old, and some are brightly colored, like origami papers. I choose the most professional looking paper and feed it into an ancient manual typewriter.

Visiting Africa

I am attending a funeral for Harry’s father. I don’t want anyone to see me so I hide in the back, and then I step outside and mill around in the lobby. Outside the actual funeral service there are a number of stations set up with food and drink. I think that Jewish funerals are surprisingly well-catered. I start drinking some kind of vodka and orange juice drink, and I try to hide the fact that I’m getting drunk when people start to come out.

I visit Africa to see how my donations to Kiva.org are being used. I’m walking through the airport and trying to figure out where I’m supposed to go. I have a folder of information about the donations that use charts and graphs. I show the folder to Scott and he makes fun of it, saying something like "well, I can tell from these charts that there’s money involved." I tell him that makes me feel bad, because the work I’m trying to do in Africa is important to me. I am treated very well by all the people I talk to.

New Offices

Bond has moved to new offices in a much larger space. There is a whole cafeteria with lunch tables.

I go to look for my office and there are 2 or 3 other women in there. One of them is sitting on a twin-sized bed. I ask her if this is where she is staying and she says she had planned on it. I walk around and look at the other offices and most of them have been converted into bedrooms, some housing multiple people. I try to explain that most people have their own apartments they live in, and the office is just for working.

I go into the new kitchen but it’s terrible. None of the glasses match and there is nothing to eat or drink. I can’t find my water bottle, so I take a bottle of raspberry-flavored Diet Coke out of the refrigerator. This seems horrible to drink but I am thirsty and there’s nothing else.

I am stunned by how many people are working at Bond. There must be 40 or 50 people in the lunchroom, most of whom I have never seen before. I can’t find Evan or Josh to ask who all the people are. I talk to a middle-aged man who I think is the new CFO. He says that they have already released a handful of contractors who weren’t needed, but I am still concerned that we have too many people. It seems like most of them are HR or Finance.

I stand up on one of the lunch tables to  say a few words to everyone. As I am standing the table starts to move and I fall down and start laughing. I stand back up and warn everyone that the table is unsteady. I fall down a couple more times as I’m speaking.

Award at a Conference

I am attending  a conference put on by a client. The conference dinner is fancy and everyone gives speeeches.

I listen to a number of the speeches but I don’t think they’re very good. I see some colleagues there. One woman wins the award for best presentation at the end of the conference. She has recently had six children and is carrying them around in a bag. I’m impressed that she can manage her family and professional life so well.

I congratulate her on winning the award, but as we’re talking I also happen to say that I did not think the conference was very good this year and the speeches were weaker than I’d seen in years past. I realize belatedly that might come off as insulting to her, and I stumble over my words as I try to backtrack on what I just said.

Skating Rink

I’m talking with Susie and Anne about the rules for a card game we’re going to play. I argue that 4-of-a-kind and a full house should count for something, like in Yahtzee.

I’m visiting my childhood skating rink. I walk down to the end of Prescott Drive and realize how close it is. The layout of the rink has expanded and the hockey rink is gone. There isn’t any water in the pond and the skating rink area seems to extend all the way up toward the school. I see animals roaming around and some are threatening — there’s a squirrel and a wolf that I’m afraid of. The wolf comes after me.

Someone has bought the land that the skating rink is on and is building a house there. The new house will appear in Cool Hunting. I go back to the office and I read something in CH about the design of the house.

Crimes and misdemeanors

Friedman is on the lam. He’s skipped out on a rap in Vegas. He goes from restaurant to restaurant, pursued by the FBI.

My father stole a car. He’s driving an old 1940s Ford. We’re driving along the edge of an embankment trying to jump the car over to a bridge on the other side. We almost miss but pull up just in time.

Alex if you really love me then turn your head to the side you’re getting away.

Mobile blogging with bloggers and dog

I’m at a conference. I’m surprised how few people actually do mobile blogging.

I’m staying on the same floor as Robert Scoble and Kathy Sierra.

Simon keeps biting my fingers.

Yet another Facebook job

I’m working at Facebook AGAIN. Talking to the engineers there.

Fighting with my mother about fabric. Yelling at her that everything is always her point of view, like it’s a bubble around her head she can’t see past.

Elderly family members  dying.

Jinx Vampire

I’m walking along a country road trying to get back to a lodge or a retreat center.

The line to get into a restaurant is very long but my group somehow lies to the hostess and she is very accommodating. She tries to get us a table. I feel guilty that we lied to her to get preferential treatment.

Jai’s jinx turns out to be dangerous. He has a way to transmit it to me by giving me a hug, like he’s some kind of jinx vampire. As he’s hugging me I can feel it attacking me and I’m scared because I know it’s too late to do anything about it.

A Christmas Story

I’m playing Sorry with Jai and he is cheating. Harry and Helen join us later. I am upset.

I have a smoothie maker. I mix up a chocolate shake and it overflows the machine and gets all over the counter.

Jai has a baby, he is pregnant and the baby is due in December, around Christmas. He makes Helen the godmother. I’m jealous. I think neither of them knows how to raise a baby.

Federal Reserve Bank

I am visiting all twelve states that have a Federal Reserve bank in the order in which they joined the Union. And I am using a mode of transportation that is appropriate for both the state and the time period when they became a state. I use a boat to visit Washington state and an airplane to visit the Virginia/Washington D.C. area.

In Virginia the hotel is under new management. I don’t recommend it. The new managers are jerks and not inviting to customers. I stay there but I’m angry about it.

I hide in the hotel room in the closet, but I get caught.

Diet Coke

I’m in the ladies room at a club or a gym, like a locker room at a university student center.

I want to buy a Diet Coke. Despite the fact that there are lots of stacks of Diet Coke everywhere I can’t seem to buy one. I don’t have the proper coupon and they’re not cold.

I’m driving with a woman and Jonathan. Jonathan is talking about his new girlfriend. I’m very angry and I tell him I don’t need to hear about her.

I describe something called "Minder Living."

I take his documents and start cutting the edges in a paper cutter.

Family vacation

On a family vacation
Men are trying to kill us
Lots of talk about male sympathies
How to get in and out of them
Dad lost the dogs
Terrorist attack
Ordering food

Thanksgiving

I  am remembering something from Jai’s past
I want him to point to something meaningful
I can select the side of the circle that describes him
Ceramic Christmastree lights

Subway from the UWS

I’m in a library and a boy is flirting with me. I’m not sure about him but he’s persistent.

I go with him to his apartment. It’s on the outskirts of town (aka the Upper West Side.)

I get there and I can see his apartment like it’s an architectural
drawing, or a floor plan like the Sims or a dollhouse, an omniscient
view. The look of it is very modern.

His (ex) girlfriend still lives there, it turns out they used to
live together. She has moved all her stuff into another part of the
apartment, but they are still living together. He tries to tell me that
it’s okay and I should just ignore her, but this situation is obviously
stupid. He comes off as sounding like an asshole and I realize I was
right to be suspicious of him.

I leave and plan to take the subway home. As I am walking I realize
I have lost my white coat, but then I realize I have lost my green
backpack, but then it turns out that only my wallet and keys are
missing from the backpack. I have no money and no way to contact anyone
because my cell phone is gone too, so I have no way to get home. Then I
realize that I have the metrocard I just used and I should be able to
get back on the train.

The subway station is sort of like a mall. The main corridor ends at
an elevator and there is a sign like a mall directory that explains
where to go. I am trying to take the 1 train back downtown to my
office. I am reading the sign and trying to figure out why it says I
have to take the L or the G to connect to the 1, when I know the 1
should just go directly from the UWS.

Family reunion photo

Jai and I are on vacation
Turns into an ad agency
A fat girl is unhappy that they changed her copy by mobile phone
Turns into a family reunion
Someone else’s family
Seeing old photos of me from the 70s
Go into the next room for photos
Lots of ancient royalty there
We are all wearing crowns, but they’re fake
British guy says he descends from the line of "Mr. Bean."

Monkeys

Jim Jarmusch
LA Strip Malls
Monkeys
Page 1 book on organization — no monkeys

Movie about a lover and a trick door

I am seeing a group of friends. Sharon my college roommate is there. She looks beautiful and is very professionally dressed.

I’m bored and decide to watch a movie. In the movie a young man gets trapped in his lover’s room by her husband. The husband is going to kill him. There’s a chase scene with music that I can hear quite vividly. The husband gets a horse, but there is a trick door and the lover is saved.

I’m in a department store looking for a gift for my grandmother. I get a call from Caitlin but she says she’s not available. I don’t mention the fact that I’m not available either. I am buying an engraved necklace for myself and I run into Caitlin, but I call her Megan by mistake. She is annoyed that I did not call. I tell her I’m going out of town. I decide to pick up the necklace later.

College Campus with iPod

I’m walking through a series of rooms and hallways on a college campus, while listening to my iPod.

Jane’s husband is cheating on her, and I think to myself "at least they don’t have kids." He leaves for eight weeks to go on a "job hunt" that I think is suspicious.

I stop to look through a sale rack of cheap formalwear. The dresses are all ugly.

I see a posterboard with a sign talking about a homemaker in Minneapolis that killed herself very young but her family did not understand.

I can’t find my way back to the room where Kevin is. Kevin is condescending and dismissive. So I just walk the hallways with my iPod.

Trying on dresses

I am trying on dresses in an expensive boutique. They have a sale rack where things have been marked down. I try on what’s there but nothing is very attractive or fits very well.

I keep checking back and finally find a trove of items that I like. They have a whole series of skirts and dresses that are embroidered silk in bright jewel tones.

Zachary sends me a message at the store or tells the store something about me.

Coffee Shop Romance

I am in love with this hipster guy I meet in a coffee shop. The coffee shop has all sorts of flyers and postcards announcing shows and events up by the register.

I get pregnant but I decide I’m not going to keep the baby and I’m not going to tell him about it. But the next time I see him he knows something is up. He gets me to admit that I’m pregnant and insists that we should have the child.

He flirts with another girl in my presence. I sit there and watch and I’m upset about it but I don’t let on.

I go and hang a large poster across the street from the coffee shop. A man passes by and jeers at me while I am trying to get it straight.

Kittens!

I’m walking through a big suburban department store with long curved aisles. I’m in the linens department but they don’t have very much stock on the shelves, most of the displays are empty or only have one or two things in them.

I meet a woman named Eleanor who has short black hair worn in a bob. We become friends. Later, I am watching TV with my mother and we see a crime program that says that Eleanor is dangerous. I am suspicious of the program and I think she’s been framed for the crime.

She and I are living in the same building. She brings her cat over. There seem to be a number of cats around and possibly a dog or two. Her cat starts having kittens. The cat doesn’t give birth to the kittens so much as extrude them, like putty from a tube. Once the kittens are born they immediately start running around on the floor. I notice that the kittens that were born first have a lot of orange and black color, but the later kittens are white with only a little bit of orange and black. I tell Eleanor about the kittens and we try to corral all the cats.

We go on vacation to a resort with Helen. The resort doesn’t have rooms for us and they are trying to get us to stay in tents. Helen says she has been to this resort before and refuses to accept the tent option as a solution. We ask them if they have even one room available for us.

After we sort out the room situation, we walk along another long curved hallway to visit the ladies room. There is a row of stalls along the back wall, and the room is crowded with women. There is a terrible stench coming from one of the toilets and everyone flees. Outside in the corridor we find a security guard and complain about the condition of the restroom. He doesn’t do anything about it, instead he threatens to have us thrown off the property or arrested for bringing it up.

Campus Job

I am a student and I have a new job on campus. I go into the cafeteria where people have set out some cookies and coffee for snacks. Paying for these is on the honor system, so the cafeteria has set out plastic tubs where you’re supposed to put your money. I put $1.25 into a tub for a biscuit. Then I decide that I want a different cookie that only costs $1.00. I go back to the plastic tub to get my quarter back, but I look around while I’m doing it, worried that someone will see me and think I am stealing.

Above the snacks there is a big signboard. It’s like an old-fashioned chalkboard, with two long legs connecting a large area for notices. I accidentally bump the sign but I catch it before it falls over. I try to steady the sign but I can’t do it. The signboard doesn’t have any horizontal supports on the legs, so I am trying to balance the whole thing on the vertical bars of wood, which aren’t very wide. When I look up at the board, I realize that the sign itself isn’t solid. The board is rippling with movement, so as I am trying to steady the bottom, the top is still in motion, almost like a flag. A gruff older man comes over and shows me that I have to push a small button at the bottom of one of the legs to make the sign steady itself. The button is like a tiny metal pushbutton, not much bigger than a pencil lead. Once that button is pushed the sign becomes rigid and I can balance it on the legs. The man says that steadying that sign is something I’ll need to be able to do on my own if I want to keep working there.

I’m waiting with four friends by the elevator. One of them is getting married to Suzanne Vega. The elevator isn’t working so we discuss some alternate routes. We’re trying to make our way through the space, but there’s a sense that it’s dangerous. One of the boys I’m with falls down a hole, and I think he’s dead.

I’m driving around in a van with a couple of people. We’re talking about negotiating a contract. There is one section that we keep reviewing over and over that doesn’t make sense. It has something to do with candy bars and french fries. The driver pulls into a parking lot and I tell her to try and hide the van where we won’t be seen. I think that if we can wait for other people to leave, then we’ll be able to figure out what the contract says.

German Department Store

I’m in some part of Eastern Germany and I am going to a department store. The store entrance is located at the end of a dangerous-looking and rundown alley. There is a big sign in 1920s style Bauhaus typography that lists the store directory and shows which items are on which floors.

It seems that instead of entering on the main floor and going up, everyone takes the elevator to the top floor and then works their way down. There is a group of young men who are all running down the alley to get to the elevator. I follow them.

I get into a really old, scary elevator with two boys who are about 13 or 14. When the elevator starts I am thrown up against one of the boys. It feels something like centrifugal force. I struggle against it to move away from the boy and go back to where I was standing, but I can’t break free. I’m terribly nervous because I think the boy will perceive my leaning against him as a provocation. Instead, he shows me that I  need to stand against a different side of the elevator, perpendicular to where I was standing earlier. I sink against the wall and am now standing between the two boys.

I think we are going to the top floor, which is the 14th floor, but the elevator lets us out on the 13th floor. I start looking around for the way up to the top floor but I can’t find it, all I can find are escalators and staircases that only go down. The department store has an Art Deco feel, lots of shiny black lacquer and chrome.

I pull a shiny new gold coin out of my pocket and look at the back. It has a design of flags and swastikas on it. I think to myself that it must be terrible to be Germany and have made the mistake of putting swastikas on your money, and then even though the symbol was later seen as being evil, to still have to have it on your coins because there was no way to pull the money out of circulation.

Lost Dog/Burned Laptop Crisis

I’m going to Libby and Russell’s country house, and I’m bringing three dogs, including Sputnik. Russell is driving and I sit in the front seat, but then I’m really embarrassed since Libby should sit there and I move to the back seat. While I’m moving I lose the dogs and they’re running around in a park. I’m terribly afraid that I have lost Sputty because she’s not wearing a collar.

While I am looking for the dogs I set my laptop down on a hot grill. The bottom gets singed and there is a brown burned spot on it. The computer still works but the screen is all messed up, the colors are weird and it doesn’t refresh properly. I wonder if I can bring it back and say that the battery is bad.

I am relieved to find the dogs and I gather them and my laptop up. I am supposed to go with my family, Helen, and Alison to see a woman give a talk on psychology. I get everyone into a big minivan. We are supposed to stop and pick up Alison but we don’t. When Helen asks me where she is, I say I forgot because I was too caught up with the whole lost dog/burned laptop crisis.

We get to the facility where the speech is taking place. The woman is giving it twice. It’s not a very good talk, she’s not a good presenter and she’s not very good with her computer. I then go and visit with a man and my mother and John. My laptop seems to be working again.

Missed Hotel Reservation

I am trying to enter a password into my iPhone but I can’t remember what it is. It’s a six digit alphanumeric password. I keep trying the same code repeatedly because I’m sure that’s what it is, but it won’t work. Finally  I try a different, really obvious password and it works.

I call and make a reservation at a hotel. The hotel is about $350 a night. I call back later and cancel the reservation. I call a second time and make another reservation. I tell them Sherri is going to be staying in the room with me.

When I don’t show up the hotel sends me a bill for $700+ for the two rooms. I try to get out of paying the bills by talking with people at the desk. I am trying to demand that I not be charged, but inside I’m nervous that maybe I really do have to pay them, that I am obligated to pay the bills. One of the desk clerks says that Sherri was in the hotel and that they know she wasn’t going to stay with me, and they accuse me of lying.

Goodbye drinks and lost cell phones

We are going to goodbye drinks for RI. I am trying to see everyone.

Vincent and Julie are there but they have other partners.

Vincent is angry with me for making him tardy

Lost cell phones, no chargers, looking for old ones.

Brazen Lady Fighting

There are two older women who are ridiculously overdressed and overly made up. They’re wearing garish colors and hats and too much jewelry. But they think they’re better than me.

I make fun of them with my mother. I talk about how much effort goes into keeping up those appearances. I do this elaborate pantomime to mock them behind their backs.

Test Taking Anxiety Dream

I’m scheduled to take an essay test. The test is in three parts and I have two hours to complete the whole thing. The third part of the test is a group session where I am supposed to meet with a couple of other students and work together.

The two girls I am supposed to work with are mean to me and I don’t like them. I have a sinking feeling when I find out I’m supposed to work with them.

The instructions for the essay test are given to me on an ornate, old-style vase of flowers. The vase has writing on it ad there are a number of misspelled words. I think the vase might be a gift from my father.

To answer one of the sections on the test I need to go back to my home. One of the girls I’m supposed to be working with says she’ll give me a ride there. When she drops me off she waves and says she’ll be right back, but I know she’s abandoning me and I’m screwed because I can’t get back to school.

As I’m stranded I think about whether I can walk and decide it will take too long. So I take a van back to campus with a bunch of other students. I keep looking at my watch and I realize I don’t have enough time to finish my essays, and I’m really anxious.

There’s a guy I’m afraid to run into sitting next to me in the van, but when I look more closely at him, he turns into a cute guy I’d like to meet.

Crying Britney

I’m trapped in a room with Britney Spears.
She’s wild and crying whenever someone tries to calm her.

Stolen spare change

I’m working at a new web company that has taken over a whole set of apartments in a building. Thomas is working there too and I go over to see what he’s working on. It’s nice to see him. We might be a subsidary of GE.

We’re giving tours of our offices/apartments. My desk from my apartment at home is at the office. After the tours I notice that all my spare change from my change jar has been stolen. I feel irresponsible for having left it in there, I should have known better.

I’m standing at the wardrobe my mother had when I was a child. I’m folding sweaters and putting them in piles categorized by color.

Video Game Reincarnation

I am moving repeatedly through a space. I have the sensation that at various points I cease to exist and then am reawakened. After this happens several times it occurs to me that what’s happening is that I am a character in a video game, and I’m dying and then reappearing. I don’t have any sensation of pain or that I am being killed, just that as I am moving around the board, I eventually stop existing and then start existing again.

I fear that I will eventually learn that I am already in a body that I like and want. I don’t fear dying, what I fear is being reincarnated from a body that I liked.

Verbal/Visual

I consider myself to be a pretty verbal person. I like words and reading and writing. If I had to explain something I’d probably try to explain it in words as opposed to drawing a picture or making a video or doing an interpretive dance.

I have a voice in my head and it seems mostly to communicate using language. It’s more complicated than that but mostly when I’m consciously thinking to myself I seem to be thinking using English.

It’s profoundly fascinating to me that my subconscious mind gets its messages across through visual imagery. The whole point of dreams seems to be about thoughts being translated into a series of images. Like in a movie. Like the most elemental and private way that my thoughts can expressed is through images rather than words.

When I was in grad school (in writing) I worked with a Dr. Lee Odell on some projects about teaching students in writing classes how to communicate visually — like not just linear text but using typography, layout, and imagery to get their ideas across. He got religion on the subject late in his career and seemed to always be arguing with himself about whether students would be better served learning straight-up essay writing or whether we should teach these newfangled visual techniques. I remember walking in Troy with him one day and he turned to me and said:

In the Bible it says "In the beginning was the Word." It doesn’t say "In the beginning was the Picture."

Exploring dreams further makes me wonder if "in the beginning" my thoughts are actually more visual and pictorial than they are linguistic or verbal.

I actively resisted the notion of writing my dreams down for a long time. People would say to me "write them down! keep a notebook by your bedside!" What I didn’t like was the idea of having to translate everything that happened in the dream into words, and thus lose so much of the detail and the essence of the emotion. It’s like if you went and saw a movie and then had to write down for someone else the plot summary. You might be able to communicate the main points of the characters and what happened, but you would lose the richness of the scenery, the non-verbal communication, the costuming, the lighting, the blocking of the scenes… For a long time it seemed really gut-wrenching to me to write text down that didn’t capture any of that.

But, what the hell. I’m happy to be able to remember more clearly the dreams I have written down, and it’s fun to map the patterns and relationships among them. But it is most definitely a translation exercise in trying to capture the essence of visual thinking in words.

April Birthdays

Remembering Leigh R. has a birthday on April 2
I know a lot of people with April birthdays
Making amends and psychological intervention
I’m not into it
I think people fuck themselves up

Doctor’s Office/Antique Store

I’m waiting in a large doctor’s office waiting room. The practice seems to have many different check-in counters on one floor, each for a different specialty. Hyo recommended this clinic to me and I’m afraid I’ll run into her in the waiting room.

The waiting room is also a store that sells antique and vintage housewares. There are many areas or rooms that focus on different types of home items, and these areas are integrated with the reception areas for the doctor’s office. I visit the doctor multiple times and have the experience of walking through the store many times.

On one visit I’m there with Scott. He’s really cheerful about what he’s doing there or what we’re looking for.

On another visit I’m there with my father. We’re browsing through an area that sells antique benches and booths. My father points one out to me that is in the same style as something we had when I was young. It’s brown leather or fabric and has brass rivets and some other decoration on the edges.

There is a guide or a radio program that informs people about changes in the waiting room/store. One of the segments covers the parking lot. It says that even though there is a whole section of handicapped parking, one of the spots in that section is a regular (not handicapped) space so people should look for it.

Putting on a play

I’m with a group of friends and we’re putting on a play. We’re setting up the stage. The play is going to take place in an old train station that’s been converted for the purpose.

My job is to paint a refrigerator door to look like a roll of Bounty paper towels. I’m drawing the Bounty logo and coloring it in with markers. I’ve got a big area of red colored in and I’m working on the green, but the green paint isn’t adhering as well and I have to go over the area repeatedly.

We put on the play several times. I have a monologue and I sing a song.

Afterwards we all have dinner in the theater. I try to sit next to Susie but she keeps moving around with her baby.

Activities are easy to plan

This is my third apartment with the same back yard area.
I found a psychologist who helps you pick activities.
It’s easy to plan.

The Great Dane and the Elephant

I’m vacationing at a resort in South Carolina with Evan and Josh. We picked this resort because it’s dog-friendly.

We’re hanging out by the pool. There’s a commotion because we think one of the dogs had an accident in the pool. I’m apprehensive about who’s responsible.

It turns out it was the fault of a Great Dane and an elephant that somehow got into the pool. We all laugh about that.

Personality of typefaces

Richard and Chloe are living on a hill in San Francisco. It’s an old building with an old landlady, but the rent is cheap.

They’re having a party and I keep going to check up on the guests. Everyone has a dish in their hands and we’re running out of dishes.

I’m talking to one of their neighbors about the personality of different typefaces. I say that the character of an era or an age comes out in the way they use typography. Type isn’t just superficial styling.

A/B Testing

I am working for a new company that has a product kind of like Amazon.com. JP recommended me for the position. They’ve hired me to improve the usability of the product, I’m supposed to be their user experience expert.

I go out to lunch with some of the executives on my first day. I tell them that we’re going to do A/B testing to evaluate the changes we’re making. I explain how this will work, using Amazon as an example.

I tell them several times that the product might get worse instead of better. I describe how Amazon uses A/B testing to evaluate how new features help them sell more products, but that each additional feature makes the page harder to read and less visually appealing. I’m trying to tell them that even if we make the site more appealing, they might see an initial drop in sales.

I keep talking about this as we walk back to the car after lunch. I get my things out of the trunk of the car.

Riding the bus with my father

I’m riding a bus in Minneapolis with my father. It’s cold and the streets are snowy. We take a strange route that goes up a one way street and then doubles back on another one. In my dream the street is Lyndale Ave. (but it isn’t really.)

Then I’m riding the bus with Scott and trying to explain to him how the bus route goes. I can see it on a map and we’re actually driving it.

I’m trying to make plans with Mike S. via text message to see an upcoming show. I tell him the names of the bands and the dates.

Japanese Restaurant

I’m eating with a big group of family members at a Japanese restaurant. We have to wait a long time for a table. While we’re waiting, some of us visit the sauna. After we get out of the sauna the restaurant gives us clothing to wear. I put on some shoes and some earrings along with a robe, and I’m trying to figure out if I can steal them and not get caught. I figure I can always say I forgot I had them on if anyone asks.

My family has two big tables in the restaurant. We eat a huge feast and I pay for it with my AMEX. When we leave and are driving around Minneapolis, I’m afraid that someone from the restaurant will see that I’ve stolen the earrings and shoes, and so I slip them off so no one will see them.

Hotel Room Party

I’m having a big party in an expensive hotel room with Jai. Security keeps coming up to the room and I’m afraid that they’ll bust us for smoking pot. An enormous black security guard storms into the room and I look over to the counter where the pot is located, but he doesn’t see it.

We call to reorder drinks. There are bottles of scotch and vodka on a shelf. Toby arrives with a poor family.

I use the toilet and I am afraid that I haven’t flushed. Jai goes in after me and the toilet overflows and I’m mortified. We have to call a plumber to come up and fix it.

When thought is made perceptible

From A Cognitive Theory of Dreams by Calvin S. Hall:

A dream is a succession of
images, predominantly visual in quality, which are experienced during
sleep. A dream commonly has one or more scenes, several characters in
addition to the dreamer, and a sequence of actions and interactions
usually involving the dreamer. It resembles a motion picture or
dramatic production in which the dreamer is a participant-observer.
Although a dream is an hallucination, the dreamer experiences it as
he does any perceptual phenomenon. Scenes, people, objects, and
actions are experienced as though they were impressing themselves on
the senses from the external world. The world of dreams, it goes
without saying, is a world of pure projection.

The principal thesis of this paper is that these images of a
dream are the embodiment of thoughts. They are a medium by which a
psychological process, cognition, is transformed into a form that can
be perceived.
Although images are the only means by which ideas find
sensible expression in dreams, other media such as words, numbers,
gestures, and pictures are employed in waking life for making one’s
thoughts known. When thought is made perceptible, it is said to be
communicated. Unlike the communications of waking life, which may
have an audience of millions, the audience of a dream consists of
only one person, the dreamer himself. A dream is a highly private
showing of the dreamer’s thoughts.


Hall, C. S. (1953). A cognitive theory of dreams. The Journal of General Psychology, 49, 273-282.  Abridged version in M. F. DeMartino (Ed.). (1959). Dreams and Personality Dynamics (pp. 123-134). Springfield, IL: Charles C. Thomas.

Original Accomplishment Bracelet

Chris B gives me a handmade beaded bracelet as a gift. The bracelet says "Congratulations on your original accomplishment."

Job at Facebook

A number of former Razorfish people I know have accepted jobs working for Facebook. I’m skeptical that this would be a good move for them, but then I visit the Facebook offices and I realize they might be on to something. Facebook is moving into a new space and I realize that they will soon become something really big like Yahoo or Google. It seems like an opportunity to get in while the company is still young, and I start thinking maybe it would be a good place for me to work.

My mother takes a job working as the executive assistant to Mark Zuckerberg. She’s surprised at how different working for him is from the other jobs she’s had.

Onset Object Model

I’m in Minneapolis working a on a project with David F. The girl I met at MIMA is there to help us.

The room is set up like a party, there’s refrigerated cases with beer and wine. She doesn’t want anyone to drink. I open up some white wine anyway.

She keeps asking about an "Onset Object Model" and whether we have one or not. I don’t really understand what she means.

I’m rearranging the stuff in the office, moving people’s personal belongings and things they will want to take home with them to a different table. I want some more wine.

Jennifer Aniston is there complaining that her hair looks like shit. I tell her that she was Rachel and had the iconic hairstyle of the 90s, in an effort to make her feel better.

Eating lunch on the job

I’m working on a project with David F. He’s fast and good at his work. I want to check his work over when he’s done but I don’t know how. They’re trying to teach me how to review it.

I need lunch but I’m afraid to go get it. I tell my boss I’m not going to go and he laughs and tells me to go eat.

I print out a menu. The place I go has a line of people waiting. My boss tells me I’ll be fighting a line at 3pm.

There’s a family in front of me that is taking forever to place their order. I yell at them to just order.

I listen to the advice and just have a salad.

When my boss calls I say I can’t come back yet.

Information about my shoes

A woman with heavy arms is standing by the side of a pool. She asks me where I got my shoes. My shoes are over one year old but I still remember where I got them. I turn to a page in my notebook, and it already has information about my shoes on it. I had written down the information about the shoes for someone else. I’m surprised by the coincidence.

Jurassic Technologies

I have a green-screen iPhone. There is a green-screen command line interface that sits underneath the regular menu interface. I talk about how the iPhone interface is really just like a hierarchical menu. The iPhone has a stylus touch sensor thing like on the Treo, but it’s in green and really pixillated.

I’m speaking at a conference and my mother is in the audience. She helps me get dressed. I’m wearing a long black dress that I’ve hung dangly earrings all over, kind of like ornaments on a Christmas tree. I try putting on a pair of long purple and turquoise socks with the dress and my high heels, but I decide that’s too much.

I give a presentation about an old computer system that was used by the phone company. The computer was intended for operators to use when they answered questions from callers. It operated using microfiche. Some of the dangly things hanging from my dress contain pieces of microfiche. As I’m headed up to the podium I try to add one more earring to my dress, a brown beaded number, but a woman stops me and tells me it’s better without it.

In my presentation, I show a video where I walk down a long dark alley to get to a garage. The alley is dangerous and there are giant rats running across it. At the end I get to a normal suburban house with a garage in the back, where the computer is located.

There are two guys there who are dressed like sitcom characters from the 60s, sitting in lawn chairs in the yard. One is a black guy in a hat, who’s smoking a joint. They explain to me how the computer would pull up different responses to questions when an operator responsed to a call.

The computer is laughably bad. I comment that no one apparently gave any thought to the types of questions that people would be likely to ask when they called in.

My presentation runs long and when I’m done, most people have left for lunch. The people who are still there clap and say it was great. I start to remove the earrings from my dress.

One of the technicians is a tall curly haired guy wearing heavy glasses. He comes over and says that my presentation was great. I find him attractive and I’m trying to figure out how to give him my business card, when he throws his arms around me and says "I’m available!" He kisses me but he’s a bad kisser and smells like cigarettes.

Eating alone

I’m at a party at Bistro Laurent Tourondel. Hyo is there and I’m trying to avoid her, but she’s there with a bunch of people and I’m there alone.

I go into the bathroom to put on makeup. I put a lot on.

I go out and sit at a table by myself. She and her friends are sitting at a table across from me, eating and laughing. I eat from a large bowl filled with pearl onions and capers. Then I walk out on the street and try to hail a cab.

Coffee Dates at the Mall

I’m in a mall where there’s a big McDonalds with about 8 or 10 lines that are all at least 6 people deep. I’m on a date at the mall and we go out for expensive coffee drinks. I like the guy well enough. He says the next time we go out we’ll have coffee at McDonalds. While we’re standing there talking I see Harry waiting in line out of the corner of my eye — I feel a shock of recognition. My date asks who I’m looking at and I decide I don’t want to get into it, so I say I thought I saw someone I know.

The next night I go out on a date with someone different, but we’re in the mall again. We’re standing overlooking a railing on the mezzanine. My date notices my hearing aids and then shows me that he has them too. He pulls one out and I comment that we wear the same brand. He passes it to me and tells me to be careful, but I just laugh and say I know not to drop it. And I don’t. I can feel myself falling in love with him, I want to be with him so badly.

My date comes from a large family and I go to meet all of them. One of his sisters is getting married. It’s chaotic, people everywhere, all grabbing and laughing and yelling. I wonder if I can marry into this family because I don’t have siblings. Bob Lord is helping me clean up in the kitchen, it’s a huge mess. We’re talking about people making video resumes, he tells me that’s how everyone applies for jobs now. I say I’ll never get a job again because I could never make a video about myself. Bob and I are very friendly, there’s no awkwardness. I have all my cosmetics in a plastic zip-lock bag, and I’m afraid I’m going to lose it. The father in the family comes through and tells us to throw out everything that’s unnecessary.

The Pope and the Queen

I’m in a large building like a mall, and I want to take the elevator down. Pope John Paul II and Queen Elizabeth are taking the elevator and they won’t let anyone in. I run down a series of ramps and watch the elevator go down. I’m waiting to see them come out when the elevator opens.

Engagement Rings

I’m having dinner with Jeff from "Curb Your Enthusiasm." We’re discussing our relationship and he pulls out an engagement ring and puts it on my right hand. I act all surprised and excited, but really I’m not sure. The ring is hideous, it’s black and reminds me of coal. It has a piece of metal that sticks out over my fingers, making it hard to move them around when I’m wearing it. The diamond is tiny and stuck inside a pocket in the metal. I try to find a way to tell him politely that the ring isn’t my taste, but as I’m talking the ring starts to disintegrate. He apologizes and gets me another ring, this one more traditionally styled, but also with a tiny diamond. But really I’m just unsure if I want to marry him.

I go into my mother’s safe deposit box to find a ring that she used to wear. The safe deposit box has her jewelry drawer in it. It’s guarded by a bitchy asian man who doesn’t want me to take anything, but I tell him it’s my mother’s box and he leaves me alone. I’m looking for a gold ring that has vertical strips of gold down the front. I find a ring that looks similar, until I realize it has roman numerals on the front of it.

I’m walking with my mother and John to do some shopping. My mother is all bundled up in her warmest winter clothes, even though I tell her it’s at least 60 degrees out. She says she’s afraid she’ll get cold. John calls "time and temperature" from his mobile and says it’s 80 degrees.

I ask my mother about the ring. She says the ring I’m wearing was a gift from my grandmother when she graduated from high school. I ask about the other ring and describe it as having "twigs" falling on the front. She says I can have that ring too. I repeat several times that I won’t lose it, but I’m afraid that I will.

I’m unrolling a long piece of sticky paper or plastic. I unroll it across the room to where Harry is, he’s sitting and talking to some friends. I’m trying to keep the plastic from sticking to itself, but it’s difficult because it’s so long.

Dating a single father

I’m with Helen and we’re going to go trick-or-treating or somehow out on Halloween. I don’t have a costume. I look around in a suitcase and I’m trying to find something to wear. I’m afraid I’m going to be cold.

Scott appears twice in the same issue of the New York Times magazine, once in a shorter note about Squidfartz and once in a longer article. I want to tell him about the articles, but when I go back later I can only find one of them.

I’m dating a very tall bald man. We’re having dinner and he tells me that he has a young child. His wife abandoned him and the baby, and now he’s caring for it alone. His wife had a drug problem and he said she did a lot of coke and ecstasy. I feel uncomfortable about dating someone with a child to care for. Specifically, I wonder how he can be out with me in the evening, and who is caring for the child.

Riding the bus

It’s winter and the streets are all cold and snowy. I’m riding a bus with Marcelo. The bus has a fare meter like a taxi. Marcelo tells me that in the winter, near Christmas, you can just pay the driver whatever you want, you don’t have to pay what’s on the meter. I am anxious because I don’t have any money and I tell Marcelo I’ll have to borrow from him.

Marcelo hops off the bus and disappears, but he leaves his bag so I assume he’s coming back. Elliott gets on the bus and I talk with him for a while. I am working up the nerve to ask him to lend me money so I can pay the driver. The fare meter keeps going up and it’s already at $77.00. I’m trying to figure out how much is reasonable to give him, I think $60.00 seems about right.

Marcelo comes back and we get off the bus and go to a restaurant. We’re looking at the menu but we’re also trying to decide if we want to buy the restaurant. I’m looking for food that doesnt have wheat in it, but most of the desserts do. I settle on a dessert that is like a spicy Mexican pigs-in-blankets with a hot sausage.

Remodeled Home

I am with Josh R and we meet a kid who lives on Mayview Road, across from Immaculate Heart of Mary church. The kid is young and needs grooming advice, so we’re going to help him.

I say that as long as we’re in the neighborhood I want to go see my old house on Prescott Drive. As we’re walking we see a commercial being shot on a lawn on Crown Street. There are a bunch of animals in cages (lots of rabbits) and cameras and a crew.

When we get to my old house I walk around peering in the windows. The house looks very different on the inside, much more modern. I discuss with Josh and this kid whether it would be okay for me to ask to look around inside. Josh thinks it’s all right and says I should let him do the talking.

The new owner comes to the door, he’s on crutches and is a southeast Asian man in his 50s. I tell him I think about this house all the time and it would mean a lot to me if I could look around. I’m almost in tears I want to go in so badly. He says it’s fine  if we come in. I gesture at Josh and the kid and say they don’t have to come in if he doesn’t want everyone traipsing through, but he lets them in.

Inside the house is very different, it is like they’ve completely remodeled. The living room has been split in two, and one part has been made into another bedroom, and the other part has been connected to the kitchen. So the kitchen is much larger and has a counter island and a wood burning fireplace. The newly-created bedroom belongs to the man’s elderly mother.

I walk around the kitchen trying to get my bearings. It’s hard to do because the walls are so different, as well as the finishes. I try to find the spot on the wall where the yellow telephone was hung.

China Trip

I’m visiting China with my mother and a group of other family members. I can see where we are and where we’re going on a map.

We have a guide who is very helpful and polite, but also a Christian. I make a joke to my mother about how they have "Thank the Lord Jesus Christ" printed on everything, but I feel bad when he overhears me.

China seems to be all about finding cheap watches and sheets. Many of the watches don’t work. I am excited to find a Gucci watch that I would wear, but when I take it out of the package the whole watch face moves around inside the casing.

And coffee, they are always trying to give us bad coffee, perhaps because we’re Americans.

Someone on our trip thinks she can make a mandala like the monks do. She thinks it will be easy to just run the sand out.

Garages converted to apartments

I’m looking inside my old garage on Prescott Drive. It’s been converted into three separate apartments. The back of the garage will be one apartment, with the door that leads into the backyard. The front of the garage will be two apartments that can be accessed through the garage door itself. The garage is being converted this way because the real estate is so valuable.

Andy and Sarah are going to live in the apartment in the back. I am happy for them because I think it’s a good deal.

The garage at the house in Chanhassen is also being converted into apartments.

I try to tell my father that the garages have become really valuable, but then I realize I can’t talk to my father about anything from the past.

Unfinished apartment

I live in an enormous loft space with a floor made of rough, unfinished planks. I’m supposed to move to a new space that’s more finished.

Mistrust

Maggie M. works for Bond but she’s my enemy.

I’m dating a man who I’m very fond of, but when I google him it turns out he’s lied about his name and he’s married.

Facebook Wedding

I’m doing laundry, washing a blue outfit from India with white towels and other clothes. The blue Indian fabric bleeds and there are blue dye stains on everything.  A man tells me the stains won’t come out. I feel stupid because I should have known the dye would bleed.

I’m working for Facebook. Paige N. is the director of marketing and she asks if I will attend a conference in her place. I’m flattered because I feel like I’m in an environment that respects what I do.

I attend her wedding. I’m in the bridal party and we’re all picking out our dresses on the day of the wedding. The dress I pick out is black and white and doesn’t really match the other dresses. I feel weird that I will stand out from the other attendants, but it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone else.

We’re at a restaurant for the reception but they aren’t prepared for us. No one comes over to help us or to seat us. I finally ask to speak to the manager, and then try to escalate things to the general manager. I’m frustrated that the restaurant can’t seem to get organized. I ask them if they want us to leave and go elsewhere, reminding them that a party of hundreds of guests would be worth a lot of money to them.

Kitchen Burner

I’m in a kitchen with Jai. I turn on a burner but there is a stack of pots and pans on top of it. I may have intended to turn on a different one. The pots and pans start to get hot and smoke and I quickly turn the burner off.

I feel guilty because I eat more than everyone else, I snack more.

Microsoft Campus

I’m visiting the Microsoft campus with Jai and Ryan. It’s really big and confusing. They have a small airport with a bunch of private planes, almost like in a parking lot. I comment on how many rich people must work there to be able to fly planes to work.

I’m in a department store in a mall with Stephen and Josh T. It’s sort of like Knollwood. I’m walking through it looking at cosmetics and other girly items. This store is supposed to have the best values. I pick up some free samples of some kind of serum. I feel excited, like I’m going to find a bargain. I tell them that I want to go shop for lingerie and maybe they shouldn’t go with me. I give Josh a hug.

Suicide

I’m supposed to commit suicide. I’m in my grandmother’s bathroom and there’s a grainy brownish clump of stuff I’m supposed to take that will kill me. I’m torn about whether I should take it or not. I know I’m expected to. I eventually decide not to and it makes everybody happy, even though I feel like I’m cheating.

Then I go to a sale in someone’s apartment. Everything is for sale, I think because she’s dead. People are swarming over the stuff for sale. I see some shoes that I like, but I can’t go back later for anything because people have bought up all the items.

Orthodox preachers in camp

I’m in the center of a sort of encampment, with lodges or huts all opening onto a core meeting area. There’s seating in the middle on long picnic-style wooden benches, haphazardly placed.

I’m listening to sermons from Orthodox Jewish preachers. Anne and Sherri are sitting with me and I can tell that they’re judging me.

Later, I am rolling up a joint, but it’s enormous, like the size of a paper towel tube. And I’m spreading the inside of the paper with butter.

Checkout Button

I’m in a big cafeteria or grocery store, someplace with aisles and they’re selling food. I’m trying to design an interface to this physical space, so I’m walking through it and trying to document it.

There’s a big group of people who have to review the drawings. They’re really critical of it and I feel stupid. I’m annoyed and fighting back at them. One woman is particularly harsh and I start talking up my qualifications (which makes me feel sort of embarrassed.)

I realize as I’m arguing that I really have screwed up the interface. The whole top nav of the diagram needs to be revised. And I keep walking back and forth repeatedly across the physical space with different objects, but I realize that the wireframe just needs a big checkout button on the top.

Org Charts

I’m dreaming about org charts! I’m organizing people I know.

I’m trying to decide if I should organize people by horizontal or by pyramid.

People I see: Evan, Jeff, Josh, Jen Burke and my mother

Angry airplane man

I’m in an airport that’s like a big fancy conference center, all high ceilings and long hallways. I don’t have my boarding pass but I get on the plane anyway. I’m in first class and I ask the flight attendant if she can print it out again for me.

There’s a man who’s really angry about this. He attacks me and my friend, he urinates on us. We’re furious.

The plane gets grounded and we all have to get out and walk across a frozen lake. I keep trying to tell the flight attendant about the evil angry man.

I finally get on a connecting flight through Albany to get home.

Jumping

I’m in a hotel suite or apartment with Zachary. He can leap into the air and go to a different level, almost like a video game. He can put his arm around me and take me with him.

It’s scary at first but it’s also romantic. After a while I’m not so scared. I don’t clutch onto him so much, he just puts his arm around me and up we go. We keep going higher.

Helen’s party

I’m with Helen at her apartment, we’re hanging out and talking. Helen lives in a part of Manhattan that’s like a beach, there are little strips of fancy beachfront property like in LA or Florida.

The afternoon goes by more and more people show up. It turns into a party. A man is there and he forces me to suck his cock, it’s very large and I don’t want to do it.

I realize I’ve been at Helen’s for a long time. I feel guilty that the dog has been alone for so long.

I go home on the subway, which is like a big swooping rollercoaster.

Late for a time-traveling flight

Chris B. is helping me get on this old-fashioned airplane that is
actually a time machine. I’m worried that I’ll be late for the flight. She tells me "You have a ticket on a time machine that goes around
the world. You’re not going to miss it."

The place where the plane takes
off from is in the same building as a  charm school run by an
imperious French woman. To get inside the building she makes us both stand up very
straight.

I’m really annoyed and try to avoid doing it because I
want to get into the building quickly and get on the plane. The headmistress is angry with me.

Later,  I get a terrible rash on my legs. I think that the headmistress is responsible for giving me the
rash.

I can’t find my ticket and I’m
rummaging through both my suitcase and Chris’s suitcase for it.

Female friends

I’m with Libby in a coffee shop.
She has a baby stroller.
I’m with Helen at her apartment.
We’re sharing the space.
Putting up plywood to block the space.

Cheating on a sofa

I’m in a big hotel or convention center. There’s a man there I’m attracted to. We start making out in public on a sofa. It’s very passionate.

Jonathan sees us and I feel terrible that I’ve been cheating.

Someone asks us why we had to act that way in public, why not just get a room? I answer that I didn’t want to cross a line.

I’m still excited by the feeling of being with someone new.

Cheating

I’m with Scott at his home in Illinois. Teanna comes and finds us there. It’s uncomfortable because it seems like I’m cheating.

Business Publication

I have a new job at a smaller, younger company. A publication like Crain’s, or maybe an airline magazine, publishes a story about me, basically saying that I’m an idiot. Everyone knows about it and I feel terrible, mostly because I’m new at the company. I have this feeling of righteous indignation like people are telling lies about me.

Performing

I am rehearsing for a performance. It seems like the performance is unexpected but it will also be fun. We’re trying to figure out what we should do and what jokes we should make.

During the actual performance, Helen goes on before me. She does a cheerleading-type dance. She looks thin.

I make a joke that I didn’t know I’d have to go on after a routine like that. But then my part goes fine.

With friends like these…

I’m looking around in an apartment that is owned by friends of mine. It has all sorts of neat "features" and I can tell it’s expensive.

Then all my friends turn on me. They’re older than me and they’re co-workers.

They’re trying to prevent me from winning an election or getting a prize.

Jewish wedding

I’m marrying a Jewish guy. We’re trying to set a date for the wedding. It can’t be on Christmas and it can’t be on Friday.

I find a fancy resort in Indonesia for our honeymoon.

Anxiety about moving forward

I ask my mother and another woman (like an aunt) if I should get pregnant. They slowly nod their heads and agree that I should.

I’m walking through a mall, trying to find how to get upstairs to the second level.

I’m with Harry and my mother trying to get onboard a plane. Harry gets on ahead of us, and then my mother and I can’t board.

Broken red wine glass

Mom and John’s wedding
Taking a trip in a cartoon car
Having a broken red wine glass in a plastic bag

Design culture

Liz and AIGA
A mashup of Christian imagery and pop culture images
A design agency with print material in drawers
Having to write a letter of apology
Feeling sincere about what I’ve written

My adopted daughter

Jonathan and I are traveling through India or China. We get married. At the hotel, they replace the old, worn-out carpet in our room with new carpet in honor of our wedding.

We decide to adopt a child. Andrea comes to help us. She gets us a girl baby and tells us the child’s name is "Lucas Samaha." I laugh and say that I can’t have a daughter that’s named after my high school boyfriend, because all my friends will think it’s weird and make fun of me.

Sometimes a salami is just a salami

I’m with Erin. Pablo is bigger, like 4 years old. Also, Pablo is a girl. We’re all in a room, hanging out.

I’m in a convenience store. Luke is there.

We’re buying food. All the food is salami and baguettes. There are all different variations on this theme, but all the food is basically sausages and loaves of bread.

I want to buy some and make a sandwich. But I am embarrassed to be seen buying this food because salami is not healthy.

The Black Plastic Garbage Bags Dream

I’m talking to Alex S. I’m trying to set up time to meet with Vincent so I can tell him that I’m leaving Razorfish. I’m anxious about telling him.

I read a column in Wired magazine that’s like a press release describing what different people are doing professionally.

I’m living in a 1 BR apartment that is dark and dirty. My uncle Ed needs a place to stay and I offer to let him stay at my place, but I warn him that it’s filthy.

There are two big rooms in the apartment. They are both filled up to the ceiling with shelves that are stacked with old computer monitors and black plastic garbage bags. When I look up they seem to go on infinitely, stacks and stacks of garbage.

I find myself thinking that I should not move out of this apartment, there is no reason to leave. I tell myself the apartment is perfectly fine, it’s a nice place, and it’s inexpensive.

Paging Dr. Freud!

Joe C. has installed these new devices at everyone’s workspace. They’re like a combination of a handle, a dildo, and a balloon. They inflate and you grab them and use them to navigate.

Joy and I are supposed to visit my church from growing up, Immaculate Heart of Mary. My father has died and we are supposed to attend his funeral.

I visit my mother in our backyard on Prescott Drive. I am happy and excited. I tell her that my dad is dead and now she can move to the city.

Then I feel terrible because I realize that I wanted my father to die. I made this happen.

Gram’s garden

I’m out socializing with a man I don’t know. I take him to Gram’s house and show him her garden. I tell him how important she was in my life when I was growing up.

He has some other friends who don’t like me. In particular, there’s a woman with long dark hair who clearly despises me. When I meet her for the first time, I snicker at her, and she sees me and gets pissed. Later, I won’t acknowledge that I’ve done anything that would make her dislike me.

This man is going out with his friends, this woman included, and I decline to go with them.

San Francisco office landscape

I tell Mark that I am not taking the job, but I hope we can still be friends. We hug. Then we kiss. We start dating. But he’s gay.

I’m working for a hotel chain, traveling all over the world. I fly from San Francisco to Dubai.

Mark and I have sex on a kitchen counter. I give him a blowjob.

I know he’s cheating on me. I confront him about the fact that he’s dating men on the side.

I’m working in a big office building in San Francisco. There are lots of agencies that work in this building. I’m navigating through a huge space of blue-lit cubicles.

Creative differences

I’m arguing with Joe C. It’s completely realistic. It’s like being at work. I wake up and wonder if it was real.

Swimming in a pool

I’m swimming at a pool in Brooklyn with David F.

There’s a jewelry case where I’m looking to pick out earrings. I see some tiny garnets, four in a row. They remind me of a pair I had when I was in college. I decide I want to wear just a single tiny garnet earring.

Now I’m swimming with Adam M. The pool is dirty and cold.

Trapped in the rubble

There’s been an accident, and a kid I know is trapped in the rubble. Someone helps him by turning his cell phone to a setting to help the rescuers find him.

He’s saved, and everyone wants to hear the story. I try to call him but I repeatedly dial the wrong number, which is frustrating because I have him on speed-dial.

I’m going to have dinner with Joe. We’re driving and we’re not quite sure where we’re going. We realize we’ve made a wrong turn, and so we try to go back, cutting across two lanes of traffic.

My Friend Britney

I’m friends with Britney Spears. We hang out together in her mansion. The mansion looks more like a school, with long hallways that have doors with room numbers on them.

Kevin Federline is mean to her. I try to tell her he’s no good for her, but she doesn’t want to hear it.

She’s trying to diet. I tell her to come to Pilates with me.

Missed flight due to birds

I’m visiting Susie and her family in some LA type city.

A pedophile-type guy is after young boys and girls, and it’s scary.

They have these birds in an aviary. The birds are cartoon-like, giant stuffed toucans.

I need to leave and catch my flight.

I can see a map of where I need to go. I think I’m in LA but really it’s a map of Europe.

I’m late for my flight, even though it’s three hours away. It’s 5pm and the flight doesnt leave until 8pm.

I’m trying to leave but my bags are broken. The birds have pecked at the straps and now the straps don’t hold together.

It’s 6pm and I’m worried that I’ve missed my flight.

Bar games

I’m with Scott. I have a sick feeling that he’s cheating on me. He’s lying to me. There’s a party at a roadside bar. He’s off drinking beer and partying.

There’s an arcade game that has a skeleton head. I’m trying to program the game and substitute one thing for another in the display.

My Parents at Gram’s grave

I’m with my father in a strange cemetary that is open in the middle and has graves all along the edges.

I remember thinking "It’s lucky my grandmother is buried here."

We visit her grave. You can see her lying in the grave. The casket is open and there’s s sheet of ice over it. Her face is covered with ice.

My mother is there with her family. I try to wave her off but my father sees her.

We all look at the grave together.

Connecticut Realism

I’m with my father in our backyard on Prescott Drive. He takes me to see what’s tormenting him.

It’s a story in a book. It’s my grandmother. He has to pray with her. She’s very religious. He has to pray the story in the book every day and he hates it.

I look in the book to see the other stories, to see who the other stories are written by. I try to show him the other stories in the book.

I tell him that the authors of the other stories are all prominent members of a school called "Connecticut Realism."

We visit a shop that sells uniforms. All the clothes are displayed on mannequins and are sold in plastic packages.

I see a beautiful cashmere top and pants. I try to buy it, but the actual clothing in the packages is much cheaper fabric.

Paths and Alignment

process
travel via train (visually represented on a map)
kevin’s commentary

nice framing of a photograph, like digital assembly of elements that were pre-determined to align
like sets on a stage

Cheating/Surveillance

I am married to Harry again, but either he is cheating on me or I am cheating on him.

We are sneaking around, trying to get away with something.

There are DVDs and I am supposed to watch something or record something.

The Man

I’m staying in a dorm or some other educational facility. There’s a man who’s associated with the government or the military.

He says he has vacation time but he has nowhere to go, so instead he’s going to Iraq.

I’m attracted to him, but I feel guilty that I’m cheating on Jonathan.

Family (not my own)

I’m a Mormon and I’m married to Tony Soprano.

Susie is married and having a baby.

From McDonald’s to path in the woods

Pete and I are play-fighting with small toy light sabers. Mine is pink and his is blue.

I call a taxi and am getting ready to leave my childhood home on Prescott Drive. I’m gathering up my things, but it’s taking a long time. I’m gathering my things into my purse in the kitchen. When the taxi arrives I’m still not ready and I motion for it to wait. The taxi driver is a woman.

I go to a Christmas party. My mother is there. I bring Bob A. as my date. I say hello to some people. The party is really boring so I decide to go wander around.

I’m walking down the street of a city. I stop in a McDonalds. I see Tod eating with his friends and I flee before he can see me. He’s going to a show. I think he’s disgusting.

I walk back to the party on a path through some woods. When I arrive I say hello to my family, and my uncle Dave and aunt Carole.

Andrea’s Stereo

I’m in a big room, navigating through stuff on shelves. It all seems sort of historical and I ask Kevin if he recognizes any of it. It’s stereo equipment, like used for hooking up speakers.

I’m looking at Andrea’s stereo. Andrea and Susan are going to separate. Susan is pregnant again but they aren’t happy. I say that’s too bad, but I am secretly relieved because it validates my feelings that people aren’t very happy when they have kids.

In my dream I think "Hey this is just like when I’m dreaming and I’m navigating through spaces."

Joe C. wants to have a drink at 8pm. I want to tell him it’s too late. But I’ve lost my Treo and I can’t text him back.

Training a dog with chocolate

I’m in a grocery store. I’m in a hospital. I can’t tell if I’m a mental patient who can’t get out or if I’m just visiting.

I’m having an argument with Ethan.

I’m training a dog with treats. I’m looking for a treat to give the dog that isn’t chocolate. I find a lot of muffins and brownies on the refrigerator, but they all have chocolate in them.

Forgotten birthday

I am supposed to be taking care of some plants, but I don’t water them and one dies. Several others are very thirsty and I can see them wilting.

I buy some candy and it’s very expensive. A piece of hard candy and a flower costs $50.

I forget Jonathan’s birthday. In my dream it’s July 3. I decide to give him the candy.

Four themes

JP tells me not to call or work with Evan.

Tanya goes on a crash diet and I tell her it’s not healthy. But she looks good and I’m jealous.

Jonathan introduces me to Mehera. She looks very familiar and I tell her so.

Someone (a monster?) is supposed to be painting and gets blue paint all over the wall. It colors all the books blue.

Haiku

Mattress shopping
Home-made chapstick (a rolled piece of cardboard with Vaseline)
Jessica Simpson

Sinister amusement park

I’m walking around a sinister indoor amusement park with a man I’m dating. It’s like the Manhattan Mall or the Skyway Theater in Minneapolis. It has red and orange carpet. There’s a movie theater that’s on a higher floor and we need to take an elevator to get there. I have the feeling that it’s dangerous, sleazy. There are tourists trying to find their way around.

We walk among the rides and talk about our relationship. He’s distant and I question to myself what I want to get out of the relationship and what I expect to get. I feel uncomfortable about drugs, like maybe he’s smoking pot.

We walk back to the entrance. I go digging through a pile of trash and find a beautiful wrought iron Christmas tree. I have to brush my teeth and I go walking through the park to find a drinking fountain. When I find one, I let a family with kids go before me, and then other people in line go in front of me too, and I’m annoyed at their presumptiveness.

On the way back to the man I run into Harry. I recognize his eyes. We hug and he seems happy to see me, and I tell him I’ve missed him.

Rich man’s house

I’m waiting with a rich man and my mother for admission to something. The man is a business executive my mother knows. I’m staying in the man’s house. Things are set so I can’t turn any lights on. I go to the light switches and there’s lots of them, but they don’t work.

He has three dogs. The dogs are held inside wooden boxes, all enclosed. The small dog I can get out but the larger dogs are trapped inside. I’m worried about them because I think I’m supposed to take care of them.

I’m supposed to go to an event with the man, my mother and father, and Friedman, but I oversleep.

Lovely store, ugly store

I’m walking along a sidewalk from work to a store. The store is large and filled with wonderful food and kitchen products. The food is all sets of small treats and hors d’oeuvres. They’re beautifully arranged, bounteous, and can be sampled.

Liz D. is there and I comment that I haven’t seen her since Thanksgiving. My mother is also there and we decide to have lunch in their café. The store sells clothing too and a salesgirl helps me pick out some pieces for me and some for my mother. There is a green top that is made from beautiful fabric. All the pieces are kind of hippie granola. Later, I look at the green top and the fabric isn’t nearly as nice and I want to return it.

I am walking with a man and my aunt Brenda. He says he likes her. She has a hairbrush that expands open, it’s really high-tech, almost robotic. Brenda talks about losing weight and it appears that she has lost some.

We go into another store that has stuff on sale. It’s one of those stores in Uptown on Lake Street that never did well and were always going out of business. All the stuff in this store is junky and badly displayed. There seems to be a lot of stuff being sold that you wouldn’t really want.

Late for a flight

I’m in Costa Rica.
I have a new suitcase, I’m packing.
Traveling with friends.
I’m late for my flight, going to miss my flight, packing, trying to make my flight.

Feelings for a man: love, want to impress
Feelings for a woman: reassurance, want security

Framed peacocks

I’m in London. I have the framed miniature painting I bought in India of the peacocks. I decide I want to turn it into a nightlight. I tear open the framed picture. Inside, the peacocks aren’t painted on bone or plastic as I expect, they are just layers of tissue paper. I keep digging through all the paper trying to find the peacocks.

Fighting with my mother

I’m married to Harry again or we’re spending time together. My mother calls and she’s irrational, angry. She rants at me for a long time. She takes offense at my tone. I think she’s crazy, and I’m worried about her. But I’m also pissed off that she’s acting this way.

She hangs up on me and I call her back. We fight some more and then I hang up on her. I don’t call her back. I hate the feeling of being disconnected from her. I call my former therapist. Dr S, to discuss what happened.

Bailey

A page from a magazine, like a column in New York Magazine. A drawing of a guy named Bailey and a diagram showing how he wears his collar up and his jacket hung over his shoulders. Very 80s.

Driving in LA

I’m moving around in terrain, spatially, and I’m discussing heavy subjects or emotional relationships with people.

I’m in a setting that’s like a campus. There’s a spot by a lake, or on a hill, where I’m sitting with two friends, one might be a boyfriend. Someone dies, and there’s a commotion. Ron comforts me and I feel grateful yet guilty that I’ve treated him poorly.

I’m in LA. I need to get around and so I have to drive. Susie is there to help me. Driving is like a video game. I’m sweating and there are lots of obstacles in the road (like a camel and a whole caravan.) Even though I can’t drive very well, I get where I need to go. Part of the problem might be that I’m not sure whether to drive on the right or the left side of the road. There’s also a problem where my hearing aid doesn’t fit properly.

I’m in a parking lot for a mall. I’m trying to find Yun Woo. When I find him he talks about his father being rich, having an empire. We go to play video games. The game is a driving game, but it’s a low-res black and white graphics game, done in an old Macintosh style. The game is shaped like a parking meter. I practice using the game controls.

Memphis

I’m in Memphis, driving around with a man who’s either my uncle or someone from work.

We go to a print store that also sells bags. I see a red leather backpack that’s on sale. The straps were kind of messed up, one was black and one was brown. Other people wanted it. We’re browsing the prints but my uncle says he doesn’t want to cause a racial incident.

We have shirts made. The shirt is nice because the facing on the placket is the selvedge.

We get coffee from a shack-type place that’s supposed to be amazing. I order decaf cappuccino and they laugh at me. They look in the back and it turns out to be a warehouse for a big bag of decaf beans.

Convertible off a cliff

Driving in a convertible
There’s a surprise ending
My romantic interest is unmasked as a monster
We’re going over a cliff

Angry child

I’m incredibly angry. I live with my parents and Gram and three dogs. I yell and scream. I write FUCK YOU and other invective on pieces of cardboard and leave them around. My mother finds them and gets angry with me in return. They all yell at me to stop it.

I live in NY, and a friend is going to get a new apartment in the East Village. She likes it because it has original tile and moldings. I think maybe I should move for a change of pace, that moving would make me more stable.

I feel overwhelmed by how powerless I feel to change my situation or my behavior.

Signed baseball

I’m in Vegas. I’m wearing something a little racy, but it’s not inappropriate.

I want to get a baseball signed by a favorite player. The player tells me that it’s his favorite ball. It’s all lumpy and I try to take the leather off.

I’m driving around and trying to find a place to park, but I can’t drive very well. I’m in an old car with the shifter on the steering column. I’m driving towards my grandmother’s house. The road to her house is a much bigger freeway and I’m having trouble driving and turning around.

Performance reviews

I’m in a big conference room and we’re discussing performance reviews. Marcelo is angry that Royce told us to use bullet points. I yell back that Royce is new, defending him.

There is a black cat in the conference room, and I think also a kitten. The cat is angry.

I hear a round of applause. Marcelo has gotten an award.

Chinese guy

I’m getting my hair cut. My hair is really dark and long and I have bangs. I have the same color hair as my stylist. She says it’s my natural color.

There’s a kind of geek chic Chinese guy who has a crush on me. He gives me an MS-Word document that is actually an application. It doesn’t work very well, when I click on things they move around and break the page. I’m annoyed at him for giving it to me.

He’s driving me around, we’re going to see a movie. I’m carrying a baby girl under my coat. The guy is a little weirded out by that. When I get out of the car I forget for a second that I have the baby. I’m afraid I’ll drop her but I don’t.

I’m with Paula and Steve. They are going to see the movie too. We talk about the Chinese guy.

Paula says my jeans are too short and I’m horrified. Turns out they’re not, they’re just folded up. I start hemming a skirt with tape. It’s white and red and flounced, and I’m trying to make the hem even. We have to leave.

Party in a store

I’m in a store looking around and I see an expensive handbag that was $5000 marked down to $159, so I buy it. I ask why it’s marked down so much, and the salesclerk says that it’s the only one like it they have, though they have unfinished ones in the back. The bag is brownish-tan leather.

A bunch of people come into the store and I realize it’s a party. I get a note in the mail and it’s a card from Liz that she made by sewing puffy fabric on the card. I see all my friends there, everyone I know — Jai, Ross, Susie & Jake. Susie and Jake want to stay outside and play hockey. Chad avoids me.

Walking through the party, some people comment on my sweater and ask who made it. It’s by Balenciaga but I don’t know how to pronounce it, so I show them the label. The label falls off and I give the label to one of the people who asked.

I say I sometimes dress as a tranny, which is an inside joke in reference to a comment that someone made earlier. At the time it seemed hilarious.

Across the room, someone points out the guy who owns the store. I want to meet him.