I’m getting ready to go to SxSW, so I’m packing and picking up things in my apartment. I go into the kitchen to straighten up and put the dishes away. I pick up the large cast iron frying pan and discover that the metal has dissolved and oozed all over the counter. I’m irritated with myself because that pan should have lasted a lifetime.
When I arrive at SxSW I go down to the hotel lobby to wait for some friends. I bring with me a bed pillow that I hold by the edge of the pillowcase, and I carry a pair of tan boots in my other hand. (I’m wearing shoes.) Sitting in the lobby as people start to arrive, I realize that this whole pillow-and-boots combo is going to be a bit awkward to carry around with me all day. I make some excuses to run back up to my room so I can drop them off.
My room is actually in a cabin on the edge of the event space. To get there I have to walk across a beach, which is where all the events will be held. The weather is warm and sunny, and I think “this is a great place to hold a conference.”
The cabins where I’m staying are in the woods on the edge of a fairground. The fairground is a bit seedy, like a combination of gas stations, trailers, and improperly maintained carnival rides. I stop in a gas station convenience store to pick up a few items, one of which is a pink dildo. (If you must know, it was rubbery.)
I use the dildo as a pointer during my talk, beating it against the table when I want to make a point. Very effective!
