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Category Archives: Conference Centers/Hotels

Someday my Prince will come

I’m taking a trip from Minneapolis to Chicago with a group of friends. We’re traveling across Wisconsin, taking short flights and staying in hotels. It seems like there are events happening at each stop.

We stop in Milwaukee and a group of us are hanging out in a hotel. The musician Prince comes over to our group and starts talking to me. We strike up a conversation and he sits next to me on the floor. Several other girls from our group come over and try to talk to Prince, but he seems only interested in talking to me.

Eventually we have to leave for the airport, and Prince rides the monorail with us. Eventually he says he doesn’t want me to leave, and I agree to go with him instead of continuing on to Chicago. I grab my handbag but leave my suitcase behind.

We make our way over to Prince’s car (it’s a Chevy hatchback.) I start to get anxious about my suitcase but I assume that one of my friends grabbed it when they realized I was gone. I call my friend Helen to ask her if she has my suitcase. She says she didn’t pick it up. Now I’m really worried. I ask her if she can help me retrieve it from the airport, and I try to get a phone number where I can call the lost-and-found.

Prince and I start driving in his car. We eventually reach some destination. When we get out of the car he goes around to the hatch and comments that the back glass has a huge crack running through it. I tell him not to worry about it because the car is a rental.

I sure hope this is what SxSW is like

I’m getting ready to go to SxSW, so I’m packing and picking up things in my apartment. I go into the kitchen to straighten up and put the dishes away. I pick up the large cast iron frying pan and discover that the metal has dissolved and oozed all over the counter. I’m irritated with myself because that pan should have lasted a lifetime.

When I arrive at SxSW I go down to the hotel lobby to wait for some friends. I bring with me a bed pillow that I hold by the edge of the pillowcase, and I carry a pair of tan boots in my other hand. (I’m wearing shoes.) Sitting in the lobby as people start to arrive, I realize that this whole pillow-and-boots combo is going to be a bit awkward to carry around with me all day. I make some excuses to run back up to my room so I can drop them off.

My room is actually in a cabin on the edge of the event space. To get there I have to walk across a beach, which is where all the events will be held. The weather is warm and sunny, and I think “this is a great place to hold a conference.”

The cabins where I’m staying are in the woods on the edge of a fairground. The fairground is a bit seedy, like a combination of gas stations, trailers, and improperly maintained carnival rides. I stop in a gas station convenience store to pick up a few items, one of which is a pink dildo. (If you must know, it was rubbery.)

I use the dildo as a pointer during my talk, beating it against the table when I want to make a point. Very effective!

Conference

I’m at a conference (aren’t I always) and everyone I know from high school and work is giving a speech. The room is set up like a conference with chairs but the stage looks like a stage in a grade school gym, with a red curtain and a flag. The speaker is wearing a navy blue suit and a red tie.

I’m miffed that I haven’t been asked to give a speech. I get up to walk out of the room and the speaker calls down to me and asks if I’d like to speak. I act condescending and say that I’m too busy. Later, as I’m watching people talk, I wonder why I said that. I should have just admitted that I wanted to talk. But it seems like it’s too late.

I set out boxes of thank you cards on a table at the side of the conference. They have the Bond logo on them. I encourage people to take a card and write a thank-you note to someone they want to give thanks to.

Later, I am working on a project with Friedman. I want to make changes to something on a website but I can’t figure out how. He comes over and shows me the edit link. It’s too small to see.

Speech Team

I’m supposed to give a speech at a tournament. I’m on the speech team and the contest is being held in a hotel ballroom, with a lectern at the front and round tables for seating. But I can’t remember my speech.

Afterwards, Diana comes up to me and says that Michael wants to talk to me, but she really means Ryan. When I go over to say hello to him, he’s bald.

Then a group of us go out to eat at a diner. It’s an old-fashioned diner restaurant that serves burgers and shakes. The menu is printed on a sign on the wall, and they don’t have printed menus. I try to place my order with the waitress, but while I’m doing so they start changing the signs, like it’s a McDonald’s changing from breakfast to lunch. I tell her what I want from what I remember. My dining companions place their orders and make a point of saying they want to order items from the Dollar Menu. I ask them to clarify what’s on the Dollar Menu, because I didn’t see that.

Gymnastics Rings

I’m at some kind of event (like a conference) where I see a lot of people I went to high school with. It seems to be a holiday event because there are some Christmas decorations.

A station has been set up with gymnastics rings, and a bunch of people are standing around waiting for their turn to try. I watch people, but it looks hard. The girl in front of me in line can’t do them at all, and she gets very upset and decides to leave. I feel embarrassed for her, but also I’m worried for myself, because I know I’m up next and I don’t think I can do them either. I know I have tried doing this exercise before but wasn’t successful.

I look around through some of the Christmas decorations and find some light blue cardboard hooks. I remember that I can use these to grab onto the rings, and this will make it easier.

Lost in a Hotel

I am traveling with a very large group of people, including some of my extended family. The hotel we’re staying in has labyrinthine corridors and I’m lost.

The rooms are not numbered in sequence, and each room has two numbers. The first is a regular 3-digit number, but the second is a 6-digit number, like 62-2324. I know what room I’m looking for, but all the rooms have a very similar combination of numbers, so it’s difficult to determine at a glance which room is the correct one.

The hotel has posters and display cases for medical objects and paraphernalia. Near my hotel room there is a poster that shows a man from three different angles: front, side, and a three-quarter view. The differentiating thing about this man (and I assume the reason he’s been captured on a poster) is that on first glance he appears to have a faux-hawk, but upon closer inspection one realizes that he has a vagina on his head.

As I navigate through the corridors I try to find this poster again, both because I know it is near my hotel room, and also because I want to point it out to my traveling companions.

Back to College

I’m taking college classes, but the classes all take place in a lavish, gilded, hotel ballroom and event space. The classes I’m taking include:

  • A class with Lee O. that takes place outside. I walk across the lawn with him, and we’re joined by Chad and Andy P.
  • A lingerie class. We only study pieces made of silk.
  • A course in rugs which I take with my mother. We study pieces of fabrics in different colors to learn more about patterns and weaves.
  • A Weight Watchers class which is at the wrong time.

Disjointed Themes

I’m in a hotel and my father is old and sick. I keep trying to call the front desk for help.

I go into the basement and there is a huge laundry room with dozens of rows of washers and dryers. I start doing my laundry.

I tell a female friend that Jodie Foster is coming over for dinner and she’s excited and nervous.

I start cleaning up and pick up stacks and stacks of newspapers. While I do so I discuss with my friend that I’ve seen a number of plays recently.

I see a woman on the street who says she works for a jewelry store. I ask how much it will cost to have my pearls restrung. She says it will be $30 to $50. I give her the pearls and she puts them in her pocket. Later I think that was dumb because she will steal them.

Airport Story

I’m at the airport waiting to check in to fly from New York to Minneapolis. I wait in a long line to check in and get my boarding pass. Once I’m through the line I realize that I’ve forgotten something at home, so I keep my bag with me.

I drive home through streets with a thick sheet of ice on them. The car slips and slides across the lanes.

When I get home I frantically pick out some clothes to wear. I have a whole closet full of pants and sweaters in different colors, but it’s hard to pick out new combinations that match with my shoes, and I wind up wearing the same things all the time. I choose a couple of different outfits and race back to the airport.

When I arrive at the airport I check my watch; it’s about 5:45 and the flight leaves at 6:05. I dash down a long hallway, like in a hotel, and get to a junction where I need to follow the signs to my gate. The sign pointing to Gate 6 leads to a door, and when I open it I see that I have to go down a long flight of stairs. I look around to see if maybe I’ve gotten the directions wrong, but it turns out I have to drag my bag down the stairs with me. I’m super annoyed about this.

I return to the gate and ask if I can still check my bag before the flight leaves. There is another man in line ahead of me and he’s still checking in. His last name is McGrane too even though I’ve never seen him before. When I hand over my frequent flyer card to the gate agent he looks at it and says it doesn’t look any different from the card belonging to this stranger. I respond “It isn’t, except the name.”

Live Action Text Adventure Game

I’m playing a live version of a multi-player text adventure game. It takes place in a large convention center or a space with a number of rooms. The goal is to find and collect certain objects and then remember what their purpose is in the game. For example, there’s a tube that lights up and I am supposed to remember to give it to someone at the proper point in the game. I’ve obviously played this game a few times because I discuss with some of the other players what the purpose of each item is.

Then the game turns sinister. I wind up trapped in the space with people who are trying to kill me. I have a family and there is another family that we’re in combat with. I try to steal some medical supplies from a pharmacy, like I need some gauze and tape.

The Young Dean

I’m at a college and I am talking to the dean (an older man) about information architecture and tagging. I tell him the term used now is “folksonomy.” While I am talking to him he turns into a younger man who starts flirting with me. He tells me he went to Harvard in a tone that implies I should be impressed.

I am staying in a dorm that is not unlike a hotel, with a large grand lobby and security that checks your ID before you get to the elevators. I go back to my room and I fear I have lost my keys. I go to the college bookstore and start looking around for them. I am reorganizing the book bags and backpacks when a salesclerk comes over to help me. I tell her I am looking for my keys.

I get a small knife for my keychain. It is just like the Cryovac penknives my father used to have, but it’s only about an inch long. I get it because they will let me take it through airport security.

I run into the young dean at the bookstore and he takes me back to my dorm in his car. He’s not quite sure where to go and he makes a wrong turn. We drive down a residential street with tiny houses on it. They are shaped like normal houses with shutters and a roof, but they appear to be only one small room. He says he doesn’t understand why students would live in a dorm room when they could have their own home.

I tell him I keep a blog on the internet where I write down all my dreams. He seems surprised and interested so I give him the address.

Hotel Stationery

I’m taking the subway with Alex and Kim to a a family reunion to see my father’s side of the family. I have a bicycle and start to ride it once we get off the train, and I ride it all the way, even inside the buildings.

The family reunion is taking place in a conference center and I walk down a number of hallways to find it. My uncle Fred says he saw my mother downtown recently and she had a booger on her shirt. Fred and Eleanor seem to believe that it came from my father, as he was prodigious in this department.

I go to the hotel (on the bicycle) and sit down to write a letter. I want to write a letter to Hopkins High School asking for some help with an environmental issue in Russia. I hope that they will read the letter and remember me. I choose a piece of hotel stationery and start to write, but I don’t get very far before realizing that I should type the letter instead of handwriting it. I go to take another sheet of stationery and I realize that all the pages are different. Some are at least 50 years old, and some are brightly colored, like origami papers. I choose the most professional looking paper and feed it into an ancient manual typewriter.

Award at a Conference

I am attending  a conference put on by a client. The conference dinner is fancy and everyone gives speeeches.

I listen to a number of the speeches but I don’t think they’re very good. I see some colleagues there. One woman wins the award for best presentation at the end of the conference. She has recently had six children and is carrying them around in a bag. I’m impressed that she can manage her family and professional life so well.

I congratulate her on winning the award, but as we’re talking I also happen to say that I did not think the conference was very good this year and the speeches were weaker than I’d seen in years past. I realize belatedly that might come off as insulting to her, and I stumble over my words as I try to backtrack on what I just said.

Mobile blogging with bloggers and dog

I’m at a conference. I’m surprised how few people actually do mobile blogging.

I’m staying on the same floor as Robert Scoble and Kathy Sierra.

Simon keeps biting my fingers.

Jinx Vampire

I’m walking along a country road trying to get back to a lodge or a retreat center.

The line to get into a restaurant is very long but my group somehow lies to the hostess and she is very accommodating. She tries to get us a table. I feel guilty that we lied to her to get preferential treatment.

Jai’s jinx turns out to be dangerous. He has a way to transmit it to me by giving me a hug, like he’s some kind of jinx vampire. As he’s hugging me I can feel it attacking me and I’m scared because I know it’s too late to do anything about it.

Federal Reserve Bank

I am visiting all twelve states that have a Federal Reserve bank in the order in which they joined the Union. And I am using a mode of transportation that is appropriate for both the state and the time period when they became a state. I use a boat to visit Washington state and an airplane to visit the Virginia/Washington D.C. area.

In Virginia the hotel is under new management. I don’t recommend it. The new managers are jerks and not inviting to customers. I stay there but I’m angry about it.

I hide in the hotel room in the closet, but I get caught.

Kittens!

I’m walking through a big suburban department store with long curved aisles. I’m in the linens department but they don’t have very much stock on the shelves, most of the displays are empty or only have one or two things in them.

I meet a woman named Eleanor who has short black hair worn in a bob. We become friends. Later, I am watching TV with my mother and we see a crime program that says that Eleanor is dangerous. I am suspicious of the program and I think she’s been framed for the crime.

She and I are living in the same building. She brings her cat over. There seem to be a number of cats around and possibly a dog or two. Her cat starts having kittens. The cat doesn’t give birth to the kittens so much as extrude them, like putty from a tube. Once the kittens are born they immediately start running around on the floor. I notice that the kittens that were born first have a lot of orange and black color, but the later kittens are white with only a little bit of orange and black. I tell Eleanor about the kittens and we try to corral all the cats.

We go on vacation to a resort with Helen. The resort doesn’t have rooms for us and they are trying to get us to stay in tents. Helen says she has been to this resort before and refuses to accept the tent option as a solution. We ask them if they have even one room available for us.

After we sort out the room situation, we walk along another long curved hallway to visit the ladies room. There is a row of stalls along the back wall, and the room is crowded with women. There is a terrible stench coming from one of the toilets and everyone flees. Outside in the corridor we find a security guard and complain about the condition of the restroom. He doesn’t do anything about it, instead he threatens to have us thrown off the property or arrested for bringing it up.

Missed Hotel Reservation

I am trying to enter a password into my iPhone but I can’t remember what it is. It’s a six digit alphanumeric password. I keep trying the same code repeatedly because I’m sure that’s what it is, but it won’t work. Finally  I try a different, really obvious password and it works.

I call and make a reservation at a hotel. The hotel is about $350 a night. I call back later and cancel the reservation. I call a second time and make another reservation. I tell them Sherri is going to be staying in the room with me.

When I don’t show up the hotel sends me a bill for $700+ for the two rooms. I try to get out of paying the bills by talking with people at the desk. I am trying to demand that I not be charged, but inside I’m nervous that maybe I really do have to pay them, that I am obligated to pay the bills. One of the desk clerks says that Sherri was in the hotel and that they know she wasn’t going to stay with me, and they accuse me of lying.

Hotel Room Party

I’m having a big party in an expensive hotel room with Jai. Security keeps coming up to the room and I’m afraid that they’ll bust us for smoking pot. An enormous black security guard storms into the room and I look over to the counter where the pot is located, but he doesn’t see it.

We call to reorder drinks. There are bottles of scotch and vodka on a shelf. Toby arrives with a poor family.

I use the toilet and I am afraid that I haven’t flushed. Jai goes in after me and the toilet overflows and I’m mortified. We have to call a plumber to come up and fix it.

Jurassic Technologies

I have a green-screen iPhone. There is a green-screen command line interface that sits underneath the regular menu interface. I talk about how the iPhone interface is really just like a hierarchical menu. The iPhone has a stylus touch sensor thing like on the Treo, but it’s in green and really pixillated.

I’m speaking at a conference and my mother is in the audience. She helps me get dressed. I’m wearing a long black dress that I’ve hung dangly earrings all over, kind of like ornaments on a Christmas tree. I try putting on a pair of long purple and turquoise socks with the dress and my high heels, but I decide that’s too much.

I give a presentation about an old computer system that was used by the phone company. The computer was intended for operators to use when they answered questions from callers. It operated using microfiche. Some of the dangly things hanging from my dress contain pieces of microfiche. As I’m headed up to the podium I try to add one more earring to my dress, a brown beaded number, but a woman stops me and tells me it’s better without it.

In my presentation, I show a video where I walk down a long dark alley to get to a garage. The alley is dangerous and there are giant rats running across it. At the end I get to a normal suburban house with a garage in the back, where the computer is located.

There are two guys there who are dressed like sitcom characters from the 60s, sitting in lawn chairs in the yard. One is a black guy in a hat, who’s smoking a joint. They explain to me how the computer would pull up different responses to questions when an operator responsed to a call.

The computer is laughably bad. I comment that no one apparently gave any thought to the types of questions that people would be likely to ask when they called in.

My presentation runs long and when I’m done, most people have left for lunch. The people who are still there clap and say it was great. I start to remove the earrings from my dress.

One of the technicians is a tall curly haired guy wearing heavy glasses. He comes over and says that my presentation was great. I find him attractive and I’m trying to figure out how to give him my business card, when he throws his arms around me and says "I’m available!" He kisses me but he’s a bad kisser and smells like cigarettes.

The Pope and the Queen

I’m in a large building like a mall, and I want to take the elevator down. Pope John Paul II and Queen Elizabeth are taking the elevator and they won’t let anyone in. I run down a series of ramps and watch the elevator go down. I’m waiting to see them come out when the elevator opens.

Jumping

I’m in a hotel suite or apartment with Zachary. He can leap into the air and go to a different level, almost like a video game. He can put his arm around me and take me with him.

It’s scary at first but it’s also romantic. After a while I’m not so scared. I don’t clutch onto him so much, he just puts his arm around me and up we go. We keep going higher.

Cheating on a sofa

I’m in a big hotel or convention center. There’s a man there I’m attracted to. We start making out in public on a sofa. It’s very passionate.

Jonathan sees us and I feel terrible that I’ve been cheating.

Someone asks us why we had to act that way in public, why not just get a room? I answer that I didn’t want to cross a line.

I’m still excited by the feeling of being with someone new.

Performance reviews

I’m in a big conference room and we’re discussing performance reviews. Marcelo is angry that Royce told us to use bullet points. I yell back that Royce is new, defending him.

There is a black cat in the conference room, and I think also a kitten. The cat is angry.

I hear a round of applause. Marcelo has gotten an award.

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